Finding the End of the Rope

Ox Creek, Blue Ridge Mountains, NC/Photography by Gaye Abbott

“Life brings us many moments – some gentle and peaceful, others challenging and difficult. There are times when we remember to breathe mindfully, to walk with awareness, to choose peace. And there are times when we forget.

This forgetting is so natural and human. Old habits can flood over us like sudden waves, pulling us away from the path of peace we wish to walk. These habits are strong and familiar—they’ve been with us for so long that sometimes they sweep us along before we even notice.

But here is what we hold gently in our hearts: even when we forget, even when old patterns pull us away, we can always return. The path of peace is always here, waiting patiently for us to come back. Not with judgment, but with welcome.” ~Bikkhu Pannakara

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Life in general contains a certain amount of upheaval. Each person chooses their own way of being a positive and engaging presence during dramatic change, challenges, and transformation.

How do we learn to step away from the chaos and find our peaceful center and stillness amidst all the noise? There are always a multitude of unique ways to do so and I have found it takes letting go of the outcome, trust, and courage to honor inner guidance – individual, couple, or group.

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” ~Anne Lamott

There are experiences in our lifetime that we never forget. For me it always has to do with body memories and most in the natural world. Below is one of them….

We were standing in a circle with a forest surrounding us.. All women who were small business owners and creators. The guides for this particular exercise of the ropes course, focused on team work, placed blindfolds on each one of us and asked that we also close our eyes to create a complete blackout of outer vision.

What came next was a test of our ability to work together, collaborate, and be creative using our other senses and communication skills to reach our goal.

The goal? To create a perfect square from the bunch of rope that had been thrown in the middle of our circle unseen by all of us and as yet untouched.

When one of the guides gave us our verbal instructions chaos broke out. It seemed that everyone had a way to create the square and no one was listening to anyone else. Everyone thought their idea was the best way to approach this task.

Meanwhile I reached down to get a feel of this bunch of rope, with parts of it in the hands of many by that time. I found the end of the rope….or it found me.

After a few deep breaths, grounding into the earth and centering myself it immediately seemed that I was given an opportunity. If I had the end of the rope then the perfect square could potentially be created from where I stood proclaiming with a louder voice than normal – because everyone was trying to bring the best idea on how to do this – that “I have the end of the rope! “Create the square from me.”

After some time one person realized what I was saying and that it could be the way to succeed in our team goal. From that point on, while I stayed in one place, the others collaborated together to create the square on the ground with the rope. From chaos to cooperation and collaboration…and it was resolved much more quietly.

Directed to then take our blindfolds off we saw the square we had created. The guides gave us feedback about what they observed in our process, the first congratulating me on being the solid grounding that the team needed in order to attain the goal and being able to see and feel beyond the chaos that was happening and not become part of it.

This was the very first test in a day long ropes course that included many physical and mental challenges where we needed to find our own center, trust, ground, and at times expand our courageous self compassion to complete. From walking tightropes strung between trees to jumping off a very small tree rounded platform a ways off the ground to catch a trapeze, again blind folded. (and yes we were harnessed so we would not injure ourselves)

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Though this happened decades ago when I was younger and more agile, finding ways to stay in my quiet center, when all else is chaotic around me, continues to be a practice during challenging times. And lets face it life is challenging these days and certainly as we enter the elder stages of life new challenges appear. I could become scientific or bring spiritual practice here and speak to toning the vagus nerve or using breath to ground and become still, but I won’t. Though they are both relevant.

I won’t because I feel that we all have our own unique ways of accessing this place inside during difficult times when our old patterns pull us away from a knowing and peaceful center, or if we don’t think we do at least have the desire to know how to transcend the chaos and find our way back.

Now I didn’t have the “right way” to create the perfect square with our piece of rope. I am certain that my teammates also had effective and creative ways to go about it. I certainly hadn’t planned to have the end of the rope. Like most life experiences we are given challenges that ask us to improvise, create, ground and trust that we will find our way through with the possibilities given to us.

For me, what was important here was that there needed to be a break from the chaos and noise in order to settle into the way we were going to accomplish our goal as a team. In this instance being the end of the rope – grounded space – released the chaos and brought harmony, and collaboration where we were all working together.

It was less about me having the end of the rope and more about a collaboration that took time to unfold itself with the end of the rope representing a catalyst for all the women present.

The path forward was always there….

“WAYFARERION (way-fair-EE-ree-on): A soul guided by their own inner knowing, moving through life by feeling what stirs beneath the surface rather than what is clearly marked ahead. The path is sensed through subtle signs and a pull that cannot be explained. A Wayfarerion trusts in the unseen current carrying them forward, knowing the way does not reveal itself all at once….it unfolds through presence, through forward motion, and through the willingness and courage to take the next step forward without certainty. The journey shapes them as much as they shape the journey, unfolding exactly as it is meant to, all in divine timing.” ~LiveLoveandLegacy

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Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 06/14/2026