Lessons In Surrender

Rod Taylor Forest Overlook, Blue Ridge Mountains/Western N. Carolina/Photography by Beth Smith

“Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos—the trees, the clouds, everything.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Though “surrender” has a bad rap there are many ways to be with this word and its meaning for you. This last couple of months brought so many lessons in surrender that I became quite proficient, if that is even possible!

Let’s just say that SURRENDER is preceded by LETTING GO which I found lays the groundwork for surrendering into the unfolding flow of life moments……and trusting the possibilities and opportunities that emerge. .

Life moments where new perceptions and imaginings are born and created. Trusting the intelligence of life and your body even when personal and global challenges seem dire.

Perhaps we can learn from Reece, a doggie I care for, who enters each day and moment with all of her senses and though she has taken the same walk through the forest every morning and evening she stops to investigate on levels that humans can’t even begin to imagine and finds something new to discover.

July for me was filled with opportunities to let go and thus to surrender agendas, expectations and past identities. It feels as if this happens more and more as we grow into elderhood.

Personally, the catalysts for this particular batch of letting go’s and surrender included a 77th birthday celebration on 7/7, the challenge of temporary health issues, and visiting family in N. California.

Celebrating this magical birthday of 7’s with a cross country trip to N. California to see my oldest and youngest sons, my two teenage grandchildren, and to connect with a few friends. I had not been able to see them in person for the last four years since I left California and moved to the Western N. Carolina Blue Ridge Mountains, so it seemed absolutely the best way to celebrate another year passing.

The opportunities for letting go and surrender included the realization that yet another year had quickly passed in what felt like an ever diminishing time for embodiment this lifetime and facing my own eventual mortality; feeling out of control within the health issues yet in letting go I learned to place attention on curiously seeking core causes and possible resolutions – which I did; and oh – finally letting go of the identity and role of parenting to sons now in their 40’s and 50’s who haven’t needed parenting for quite a long time and connecting in a very different way that deepened the connection for all of us.

The vow made from all of this was to be more resilient and open to new opportunities that present themselves, instead of allowing the contracted identity for growing older in this culture to block new adventures and explorations. The fear of limitation that challenges so many of us as we age and the old identities that we may cling to but are no longer relevant, and in fact restrict the fullness of simply being present moment to moment.

Before the trip there was expectation on my part of getting everyone together to enjoy family time. Yet as it turned out I learned to completely trust the unfolding of events as availability of family members and friends kept changing. I couldn’t have “planned” what did unfold in this space of surrender. How freeing that was!

Chris Reynolds (Son), Me, Lorenzo Reynolds (13-year-old Grandson)

The remedy was to let go of any agendas or expectations I had and with that went any frustration or stress. The result was extraordinary with everything falling into place. Having one on one time with those I dearly love and care about I was freed up to simply be fully me in the moment. A me that was four years older and evolving.

There were many special moments shared in the 8 days I was there. Miraculously I was present in person with my 13-year-old grandsons Little League team to see them win the Northern California Little League Championships, celebrating the win with my two sons and grandson! This is not something that was known to be on the agenda before I arrived in Sacramento to stay with my oldest son, who lived not far from where the game was to be played.

It could be said that this is the perfect practice for growing older as well. For the moments are precious and in essence all we have. Finding freedom in letting go that keeps us expanding into surrender while fully honoring who we have become and are becoming….foreplay for that last moment of life when we experience the final

letting go…..surrender.

Salmon Creek Beach, N. California/Photography by Gaye Abbott

Visiting a beach I frequented regularly when living in Sonoma county, standing on the wet sand at shores edge breathing in the salt air and negative ions, I am in absolute joy. My being celebrates having been such an ocean woman for most of my life growing up only blocks away from the beach in San Diego. So many precious memories that still live in my body.

Yet somehow it wasn’t quite the same as it had been. I will always love being by and in the sea, but I no longer yearn for it. Instead I have become a lover of the Blue Ridge Mountains and feel at home there now. Another “identity” shifting?

Gratitude for all that has been and is in this moment, and for the ever present change that makes living extraordinary as well as often challenging. It is all precious.

Let go and ride with the wind and waves with your hands up in the air wise elders!

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Morning questions to begin the day: “For whom or what am I grateful, at this particular moment? What is the work of gratitude I’ll do this day, regardless of how pained I may feel?” Eric Alan

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I invite you to take a few minutes to watch this short in depth and profoundly touching video of Annie Norgarb below. I love when she makes the sound of the birds flying over!

“Time, when approached with gentleness, doesn’t have to be something we resist. It can become a steady companion, offering a quieter kind of beauty — one that isn’t about appearance or achievement, but about depth and authenticity. As we grow older, our priorities shift, our understanding deepens, and there’s often a greater sense of ease in simply being who we are.

The passing years don’t take away who we are, they often bring us closer to it. Rather than chasing youth or regretting its passing, there is value in settling into ourselves more fully. When we stop measuring life by what we should be or do, we begin to recognize the richness of where we already are.“

Featuring Annie Norgarb.
Filmed in McGregor, South Africa by Reflections of Life

This is the second film that we’ve made together with Annie. In case you missed the first one, you can see it here – https://youtu.be/IuL-l2L_8Rk

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Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 07/30/25