When We Look – Paying Attention

Rocky Fork State Park, TN/Photography by Gaye Abbott

“And at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started. And to know the place for the first time.” ~T.S. Eliot

John O’Donohue said in Anam Cara that one of the joys of aging is that we have more time to be still. Stillness being vital to the world of the soul. Aging can indeed be a lovely time of ripening when you actually can meet yourself for the first time, as in the T.S. Eliot quote above.

Yet, this comes with the very real sense of vulnerability, and often the feeling of fragility and lack of control over our own lives. Our own and those we love and care about.

Just last week I learned that my brother’s metastatic prostate cancer had gone to four new sites, possibly six. With further testing to come next week I am feeling the anxiety, stress and concern that he is experiencing. After 15 years of his effectively managing this disease it has taken over once again.

So important to be the grounding and emotional support not only for my brother, but also within myself. By immersing in nature daily, inhabiting stillness more often, and engaging lovingly with each being I meet including animals. Seeing and experiencing the beauty in life that is reflected back to me over and over again. Restoring at the source level by really looking and paying attention.

This is where stillness can be used as a tool. Engaging with stillness to stay present in the moment to moment unfolding of life. It is easy for our minds to catapult into the future and “what if” which only increases stress and anxiety. As nature continually teaches, I am to find that grounding and pass it on to my brother. Bringing both of us back to the fact that this is only what we know now. That is all.

Western N. Carolina in the Blue Ridge Mountains/Photography by Gaye Abbott

Don’t hide your heart but reveal it, so that mine might be revealed, and I might accept what I am capable of. ~Rumi

Embracing it all – the beauty and the heartache — both of which make us feel alive and allow us to know that we’re actively participating in life’s unfolding. That is not always easy as our minds want to run away into the future or are busy dissecting the past – minds way to bypass the heartache and try to predict the future to seemingly being in control. A pattern to patiently be taking apart.

Paying attention can be devastating, especially now with the world as fractured as it is. We would rather look away from the things that break our heart or the challenges that may have life threatening or altering effects. Or even from paying full attention to someone we love and care about, both of us being uncomfortable that we may be fully seen. But that is not what living in the wholeness of life is about.

Without a full gaze on life around and within us we would not discover the beauty at every turn, corner and crevice. And we would not be willing to be vulnerably human and have our heart broken over and over again…..

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“The act of paying attention seems rather simple – simply being aware of life happening all around us. And yet most of us are asleep at the wheel. Our habit is to be lost in a trance. Thinking. Planning. Worrying. So how can we find meaning in our lives when we are repeatedly lost in our own thinking?

A beautiful place to start is to pay attention. To live is to observe. To experience the fullness of life is to put oneself into the fullness of life. To embrace the wholeness of this journey is to lift your head, squint your eyes, wipe your heart of bias, and look. And in the looking, we might be profoundly changed.

Let’s not miss a thing. Let’s embrace it all – the beauty and the heartache — both of which make us feel alive and allow us to know that we’re actively participating in life’s unfolding. Let’s all strive to be awake for as much of it as we can.”

Featuring Annie Lighthart.

Filmed in Portland, Oregon, USA. by Reflections of Life

We love Annie’s poetry. And if you do too, you can find more details on her website – http://www.annielighthart.com

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Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 09/15/24