Yesterday I was contemplating on this time of the year and noticing how differently I feel these days. I know the events of 2020 have been sobering….but I think its more the result of the work I have been doing with you in Wildly Free Elder, with Andy and our Life Lessence, and especially with Wendy in our 6 month Death and Dying course (presently in our 5th month).
I find myself in a much more peaceful place of being happy with what is, moment to moment….and I believe this is greatly the result of having walked through and embraced my fears of ageing and dying.
How paradoxical…hey !
To die well is to live well, each precious moment we are gifted.
In times gone by, so much pressure ’to get somewhere”… to achieve, and the ultimate fear of ‘falling off the cliff’ before I had completed my purpose!
But what pray is that purpose?!
To awake each morning, as if it is the first day of a New Year, the first day of a new Life, a totally clean slate, fresh and new – with all possibilities available in my mindfulness. Expansive.
To Celebrate each day, each moment – not just at Christmas – as the miracle and gift of actually being alive, here on this beautiful planet.
It is all such a mystery…. as I surrender my life long habit of attempting to control life (what arrogance!), with the flip (and down) side of that ‘feeling responsible for it all’!…… never being able to rest completely, to sink into trust and being here Now fully.
Then there shall be no rejection of what is, or expectation for things to be different, anxiety about the future, fear of the ultimate, for this is It.
Right here, right now, each precious moment. And that is Eternity.
Then, if I can ‘achieve’ this state of presence, how could there be any doubt that ‘each day suffices unto itself’ – that my life is enough, that it has always been enough….
Appreciation and gratitude to Ankya Klay for saying yes to publishing her transparent New Year musings.