We Are All In This Together

Young Black Bear Post Hurricaine Helene, Weaverville, NC/Photography by Gaye Abbott

It was never supposed to happen here. In fact I remember saying that to a friend who did not live here, the week before it hit. That we are protected by the Blue Ridge Mountains and are a known place for climate change refugees to relocate to. I was one of those in 2021 from the wild fires of N. California. Hurricaines and tornados simply don’t make it to this area. And then Helene.

A history of flooding in the past century, but not the gale force winds that toppled huge elder oak trees, ripping them up by their roots and tossing them aside like giants with powerful arms, taking power and cable lines along with them and demolishing houses, cars and businesses. Entire swaths of trees on the mountains laid to the ground and stripped of their promise of Fall leaf color to come. Life as a rooted being tossed aside.

Blue Ridge Parkway, Western N. Carolina post Hurricaine Helene, 9/2024

And the water that came down in deluges and waves washing away houses, towns, cars, people, animals, sections of freeway and roads including many sections of the famous Blue Ridge Parkway, the River Arts District under water – anything that got in the way. As mountain folk we were not prepared. And then the aftermath. The recovery period.

The stripping away of pretense, judgement and protective barriers, to engage with each other in a mutual state of vulnerability, transparency, pain, grief and shell shock…and the willingness to do what we could to help each other post Helene.

The lack of internet and cell coverage definitely presented challenges for all of us, yet I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a group of teenagers arm in arm talking to each other while walking down the street. without phones in their hands and heads bent down gazing at a screen.

The grass roots coming together of community and neighborhoods in the first 3 days and beyond when there was no power, cell service or water created connections that up to now had not been present. This “noise sensitive” woman welcoming the sound of chain saws, linemen, helicopters and sirens. Blessing those sounds as I knew help was being given somewhere.

That is still a driving force in this very long recovery period to be. Thousands of first responders coming in from other states and even Canada to assist us in rebuilding the infrastructure that has been demolished, helping to restore water, power, cell service and internet to the affected areas.

Organizing the abundance of food, clothing, bottled water, generators, fuel and other necessities that continue to flow into the area for those who lost everything, and for those who still don’t have water or power more than 3 weeks later, continues to be an enormous undertaking.

It is difficult to know that we are just another blip in the disaster news feed. Others outside the immediate area go on with their lives not having reference for what has happened here and how it feels to be in the heart of it. How many times have I done exactly the same after hearing of a disaster in another part of our country or the world. Now that has changed.

It has taken me awhile to be able to write anything, and I am still reluctant as so much unfolds in a single day. It seems impossible to capture what has happened here and I guess I am not going to try. I am now recognizing that unless you have been in the heart of a disaster it can’t be fully absorbed and felt without feeling the pain, grief and struggle of those who have lost so much, including in some cases those they love.

Usually someone who takes loads of pictures, I notice that I have taken none except for the bear picture in this post. It was almost like I didn’t want to be like the news that feeds its readers with images to momentarily exclaim about and feel sorrow over, and then jumps on to the next disaster, struggle and suffering without really dropping in. Recognizing that this affects everyone. This could happen to you, your community or to those you love. It is humbling to consider.

Perhaps using this as a powerful reminder to be grateful for the simple necessities of life and for the relationships that sustain and nurture. For wild nature and creatures that populate it. For the innate truth that we are all in this together. What touches one being touches us all.

As an elder in my 70’s I have been constantly playing with the balance of self care and at the same time being in the community to assist others and the recovery process. My mantra each day when I awaken has been “take care of yourself so that others do not have to take care of you”.

Finding myself continually making a judgement on whether I am “doing enough”, whatever that is, only blocks the possibilities of what I can actually “fully be” right now. Reflecting back on the last 4 weeks from when I was looking out a large picture window on September 27th from the home of friends where I was dog sitting while they were out of state.

Being mesmerized by gale force winds blowing trees down to the ground amidst a deluge of rain. To three days without any cell service to let family and friends know I was OK and dense darkness at night using flashlights to navigate with Gordon the French Bulldog at my side. To the afternoon of the day the hurricaine blew through and left devastation in its wake as we all came out to check on each other.

Not being able to go back to my own home for 10 days, as there was no power or water, my friends, finally back from Chicago, and I became a supportive team. I will never forget the joy when they arrived with supplies and necessities. I called it a Food Christmas as all the food in the refrigerator had gone bad with lack of power and no grocery stores were stocked or in most cases even open.

Each day continues to be filled with direct connection and opportunities to be present for each other. The stories I have been witness to – all relevant and all unique – and the great love, compassion, generosity and yes even humor, of so many will continue to rest in my heart and soul for as long as I live.

I have learned when taking down barriers, judgements and protection towards others that open vulnerability is free to surface. The full expression, insecurity and being of each person. Something we all share. The impermanence of everything and everyone, all wiith the same basic needs.

The man who was driving through our small mountain town with his two little dogs in the car looking for hot food and potable water. But more than that for someone to connect with. My time, attention and ability to listen with compassion was enough.

The policeman whom I stopped to say thank you to as he drove out of the station. When thanking him for his service and then asking him if his home and family were OK he said no, and was so close to tears that I also felt his pain and was close to shedding tears as well.

Yet he needed to be “on the job” and had been called in to be a first responder. Out of that interaction a friend and I were able to talk to the police chief to see what they needed to support their officers out in the field which resulted in pans of brownies and rice krispie treats – a small offering, but so appreciated.

The lineman from out of town restoring power to our neighborhood who was standing at the street blockade just up the street from my house. Engaging him in conversation revealed an incredible grounded and wise 31-year-old man who as we talked shared his story of losing his 4 month old baby from crib death a couple of years ago. Heart breaking experiences surfacing through the attention of another completely present to the telling. Compassion, a hug and sharing the pain.

The cashier in a grocery store who shared with me, when I asked about her well being, that she had a pottery studio in the River Arts District and everything was lost including her tools. Her dilemma now is how and where to re-establish her art/studio as the clay suppliers she depended on are now completely wiped out from the storm. A multilayered impact is often the case….with other artists supporting her with whatever can help.

Visiting the critically busy local post office in our town where they were hosting two other post offices who came from towns that were demolished by flood waters. When asked what they needed to help morale the brownies were again once again the star of the day. As well as at a donation/distribution center right down the street from me. Or even the simple act of offering hot showers to friends/clients that were still without power when mine returned on day 10 post Helene .

I am so grateful to be one of the fortunate ones in all of this disaster….and at the same time I allow myself to be completely heartbroken by the devastation and loss. I haven’t directly experienced watching my house disappearing in flood waters, fear for my life, my business completely demolished, or the loss of someone I love from the hurricaine….but many have.

These actions, or the daily unfolding of others I took, are not headline grabbers, but multiply these simple actions by that of thousands of others contributing to the support and recovery efforts, and you will experience just what it is to know “we are all in this together“.

Isn’t it time we as humans recognized that?

Reminders of resilience, adaptability, gratitude come in all forms. For me it is a young black bear quietly foraging 20 feet away from a door I just opened; a praying mantis on my car; two squirrels chasing each other in a game of tag; a brilliant cardinal flashing through the trees; a wood chuck waddling its way through the underbrush; birdsong in the morning, trees in our small local community with their showy red and yellow leaves of Fall – survivors of the great wind…..stories, hugs, laughter and tears openly shared with strangers…. and a generous woman behind me in line paying for my grocery order when I didn’t have the correct amount of change.

Today I had the opportunity to pay that forward for a man and his young daughter at the local Farmer’s Market as he didn’t have enough cash to pay for his locally grown organic veggies. He will then pass that on. Supporting local businesses and farmers as they recover is one of my ways to express gratitude.

This all reminds me that life moments, even in the midst of disaster, are precious. That all life is connected and …….WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

Let’s not forget….

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Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 10/25/24