It’s Not Too Late – Feeling Deeply

Orchid at Biltmore Conservatory, Asheville, NC/Photography by Gaye Abbott

Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them, listen to them. They are alive poems.

~Joy Harjo

Nature has always been, and always will be, a source of peace, tranquility, beauty, awe and sanctuary for me. Having always been connected since a child, when I come upon devastation perpetrated by humans I am wild with grief and a depth of sadness that is felt in the core of my being. What will my sons and grandchildren inherit after I have passed from this embodied life?

When I lived in Oregon for a few years there was so much evidence of logging. Clear cutting of whole swaths of forests. I know this has happened all over the world, but here it was so apparent even though the loggers attempted to hide it behind a screen of trees from the highways.

Hiking here, at times in the ancient old growth forest ripe with diversity, wildlife and a sense of the magic and mystery of timeless interconnection and community of species, I would feel the soul of my being connected with this vast wisdom of natures being.

Then on one hike in particular I remember all of a sudden a break in the forest where only stumps remained for as far as my eyes could see. No matter when these alive beings were taken I was, in those moments, filled with an intense sadness and grief.

It was like a knife into my heart for I could still hear the past sound of trees being felled, taken away from their home and their interconnected community where they had thrived for decades and decades. I have to believe that their history is still alive and vibrant. That someday they will rebirth themselves into other forms.

The devastation I witnessed here taken under the guise of short sighted profit without understanding the deeper connection that these trees provided. For the continued diversity of organisms, plants, animals and insects….even the soil itself, and certainly for human well being. The poetry of life had been ripped from its’ foundation.

I sometimes ask myself how I can face the massive wounding of nature without losing a piece of myself and hope for the future of the earth and all life upon it. Yet I know it is simply great love for the earth, at times fueled by my anger and grief, that will bring about the changes necessary to shift consciousness.

I strongly believe that It is through our everyday actions of kindness, humility, understanding and compassion in relating to others that we will reconnect to the natural world as interconnected partners instead of adversaries. As we allow ourselves to feel deeply may we rest in the grace of the world and be free…

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Phoebe Barnard is a sustainability strategist, climate change ecologist, ecosystem scientist, conservation biologist, planner, policy translator, media and communications strategist and film co-producer.  This beautiful, wise and powerful elder has wisdom to share with us. Please take some time to watch the short video below filmed in Washington state by Reflections of Life.

“It’s NOT OK to be upset. It’s NOT OK to be angry. It’s NOT OK to feel disappointed. 

That’s what the world tells us. There’s been a movement to watch our thoughts and feelings, making sure that we’re positive at all times. We receive messages that we must shift these ‘bad’ feelings and find better ones. But when we do this, we close down and shut off parts of ourselves, suppressing the fullness of our emotions. To feel whole and be whole, we must honor all of it – good and bad.  All emotions are beautiful and create a fullness and wholeness in our experience.  

They are powerful forces that our bodies can use as fuel for action and healing. Our thoughts create reality, not the other way around. So when our reality doesn’t look the way we want it to and brings up emotions that are unpleasant to us, that is the message we are being given to start building a bridge between what is and what can be. 

Taking time to be aware of our reactions, thoughts and emotions will bring us into a space of clarity and balance where we can make informed decisions guided and supported by our soul… decisions that will usher in release and healing for ourselves and all of life around us.“

Featuring Phoebe Barnard (phoebebarnard.com)

Filmed in Mount Vernon, Washington State, USA.

The poem read at the start of this film is called:

‘The Peace of Wild Things’ – by Wendell Berry.

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Wendell Berry, reproduced by permission of Counterpoint

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Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 03/15/24