WILDLY FREE ELDER
The Artistry of Aging
I Sometimes Forget….
Botanical Gardens, University of N. Carolina, Asheville (Photo by Gaye Abbott)
I sometimes forget
that I am created for Joy.
My mind is too busy.
My heart is too heavy
for me to remember
that I have been
called to dance
the sacred dance of Life.
I was created to smile
To Love
To be lifted up
And to lift others up.
O’ Sacred One
Untangle my feet
from all that ensnares.
Free my soul
That we might
Dance
and that our dancing might be contagious.
~Hafiz
Sometimes I forget…..to be authentic.
As I wandered the botanical gardens in Asheville a few days ago amidst the indigenous native trees and plant life alive with vibrancy and wild lushness, I went into contemplation about authenticity.
Most of us have seen invasive species brought here from other landscapes threatening the native plant life and other indigenous species, choking off the very nutrients that nourish and sustain. They take too much and give back too little.
This can also happen with humans as they take on inauthentic personas and strive to be something they are not, fueled by an endless striving to fit in or “belong”, or in frenzied seeking for more and more “money”.
Too much energy and focus on something that is not innate, grounded nor aligned with the heart and soul will eventually deaden the being we came in to be.
As we reach the elder stages of our embodied lives it seems more challenging to cover up who we are in our artistry and expression. At least that is my experience.
I liken this stage to embodying the fullness of our knowing, intuition and artistry. Embodied life is meant to lead us into this exploration of creative soul. Artistry that is wildly in alignment with our own unique version of the Sacred Dance of embodied life.
Trust that you know, and will know, how that feels. Taking action from this spaciousness of being that is never in a box, wrapped up in dogma, based on others expectations, or dictated to by the mainstream cultural narrative.
This is where you will find your aliveness and your joy….releasing others into their own soul freeing dance!
You are in alignment when you:
*Feel at peace with your choices and actions
*Are excited about and co-create possibilities to expand and grow
*Enhance emerging authentic and creative artistry by saying yes to it even when it feels scary
*Perceive the inevitable challenges of life as opportunities
*Are able to set boundaries and say no to something that is not in alignment
*Can identify and shed old patterns of thinking and being (i.e. identities)
*Trust the unfolding of life…..
This by no means is complete as each unique human will have a different experience of what it feels to be in alignment. Please feel free to share yours!
Freely share this post giving credit to Wildly Free Elder global community and Gaye Abbott, 5/2021
NEXT GLOBAL COMMUNITY ZOOM CALL: June 4, 2021/June 5 (Australia), 6-7:30pmEST (please convert for your time zone).
FACILITATOR: Wendy Haynes, Australia – Focus: “A mourning and celebration circle. A space where we get to lean into life as it is – in all its beauty, celebration, pain and suffering. As elders, it’s important to share this way of being in the world.”
If you would like to join us on this call and are not already a part of our community please connect with us here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/conscious-aging-conversations/
Being Simply Beautiful
The Cradle of Forest Overlook, Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
Over this last year of dramatic shifts and changes in our lives many of us have been drawn to reconsider and reflect on what we most value in life. I for one sold, gave away and donated almost all that I owned the first part of this year and experienced the reciprocal flow of a gift economy where everyone receives and gives. In turn I received the freedom of not being defined, or defining myself, by my possessions.
What if we as elders surrender enough to realize the potential of “being simply beautiful”. A space of being where we are not holding ourselves by what we have, but for how we are in any given moment. This does not mean you have to give everything away, but it does mean you live from a spaciousness of kindness and reciprocity.
This humble man in South Africa reminds us of the beauty in living from simplicity and the importance of being kind to others and connecting in transparent and supportive friendship with all living beings. As he says at the end of this video, in South Africa there is the philosophy of Umbutu – I am because we are.
Part of the wisdom we have as elders is to not only pass on this way of being by our example, but to embody it fully. This is where we may find ourselves wildly free….
If you wish to share this post please reference Wildly Free Elder website for the post and Green Renaissance for the video. Thank You!
Next global Wildly Free Elder community call is on June 4, 2021 with Wendy Haynes facilitating our focus on Grieving and Celebration.
Please contact us HERE if you wish to become a part of our community and join our monthly calls.
Elder – This Is Where Your Life Has Arrived
Spotlight Post by Wendy Haynes
There comes a time when all that has been lived, learned, loved and lost may need space for integration and to be honoured. A space to connect to that which has held you throughout all these adventures, struggles, challenges and … arriving home. A space to lean into the ‘quiet immensity of your own presence’. (John O’Donohue)
Many traditions offer time for an elder to be on retreat, to slow down and be supported – to engage in a time for reflection, for resting, for being nourished, for befriending this precious life lived so far. As people come to this transition in their lives, creating a ceremony that acknowledges the richness and challenges of ageing can bring support, consideration and offer respect and meaning to the ‘elder’.
The poet, John O’Donohue writes,
This is where your life has arrived
After all the years of effort and toil;
Look back with graciousness and thanks
On all your great and quiet achievements
You stand on the shore of a new invitation
To open your life to what is left undone;
Let your heart enjoy a different rhythm
When drawn to the wonder of other horizons.
Have the courage of a new approach to time;
Allow it to slow until you find freedom
To draw alongside the mystery you hold
And befriend the beauty of your own Soul
Now is the time to enjoy your hearts desire;
To live the dreams you’ve waited for
To awaken the depths beyond your work
And enter into your infinite source.
written by John O’Donohue
As I connect with this poem I feel the beauty of this elder time for awakening, presence, gratitude, spaciousness, and diving deep into the infinite source. A time for quiet mourning and celebration. For more information about the Ceremonies for Elders click here.
Copyright by Wendy Haynes, 5/1/21. If sharing this post please give credit to Wendy Haynes
NEXT UPCOMING Global Wildly Free Elders Community Zoom Call: 5/7/21 – “Wild Writing” with Laurie Wagner.
**If you would like to join us as a guest please go here to inquire for link information and also how to become a Spotlight: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/conscious-aging-conversations/
Finding “Home”
French Broad River at Stackhouse Bend, N. Carolina
“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”
~ John O’Donohue
Have you ever found yourself wondering what “home” means to you personally? The mystics say it resides inside and I agree with this. Yet, there is much more to this journey to reflect upon, let go into and be present to. Perhaps this is a quest we are on our entire lives.
I love the term “wild divinity” in the excerpt below – “resting in the house of our own heart”. As we age this somehow becomes easier to do as the striving and outward focused actions fall away and the inner “home guidance system” takes precedence.
“Each one of us is alone in the world. It takes great courage to meet the full force of your aloneness. Most of the activity in society is subconsciously designed to quell the voice crying in the wilderness within you.
The mystic Thomas a Kempis said that when you go out into the world, you return having lost some of yourself. Until you learn to inhabit your aloneness, the lonely distraction and noise of society will seduce you into false belonging, with which you will only become empty and weary.
When you face your aloneness, something begins to happen. Gradually, the sense of bleakness changes into a sense of true belonging. This is a slow and open-ended transition but it is utterly vital in order to come into rhythm with your own individuality.
In a sense this is the endless task of finding your true home within your life. It is not narcissistic, for as soon as you rest in the house of your own heart, doors and windows begin to open outwards to the world. No longer on the run from your aloneness, your connections with others become real and creative. You no longer need to covertly scrape affirmation from others or from projects outside yourself.
This is slow work; it takes years to bring your mind home.“
John O’Donohue, Irish poet and philosopher
Excerpt from ETERNAL ECHOES
http://johnodonohue.com
“Your vision is your home and your home should have many mansions to shelter your wild divinity.”
~John O’Donohue
Crossing the threshold into this wild divinity of our own heart brings a “belonging” that never goes away. This is foundation – the bricks, mortar and rooted earth – that brings with it the freedom to surrender into the next relationship, artistry, move, endeavor, location….life moment.
Having just completed a 7th relocation two weeks ago to Asheville, N. Carolina area I am forced to re-calibrate and go deeper into unknown territory, using challenges as stepping stones for this next chapter of life, while at the same time trusting inner guidance even as ever present uncertainty attempts to take an upper hand. The ever constant details of it all – the “right” and “wrong” – threaten to take away inner knowing and trust and often serve as immense distractions.
On the outside it may look like I have been searching for a home and never quite getting there. This last time leaping from wildfires, air pollution, rolling blackouts and high daily living expense in California to a more elemental earth and water home sanctuary aligns with the “home” inside. Yet the loss of being close in distance to sons, grandchildren and friends is part of the letting go journey as well.
I find the wild beauty and grounding of the natural world always there, serving as guidance whispered into heart and soul as a reminder of building inner resilience, acceptance and trust. When “home” resides in the wild divinity of the heart each place you find yourself – whether staying in a community where you were born and have established community or exploring other cultures and landscapes – will serve as an awakening to life……
Conscious Embodied Relocation: I was not consciously aware of the principles involved in this type of embodied leave taking when I took that first leap over 30 years ago now, but over the last three decades the fine tuning became more apparent.
If you are thinking of finding a “home landscape” that supports your aliveness during this transformational elder time of life here are some keys for doing these leaps that I found integral to trusting the unfolding possibilities:
- Explicitly trusting the unfolding of life – get out of your own way
- Taking effective action on the possibilities that show up from that depth of surrender
- Willingness to reinvent yourself (which is actually a great deal of creative fun!)
- A sense of adventure (being willing to get out of your “comfort zones”)
- Listening deeply to intuition and Source messages
- Connecting transparently with others along the way.
- Willingness to change your inner & outer conversations
“It’s not realistic to expect to always be thriving. Life can be messy and we can’t separate the highs and lows or have one without the other. But we can learn to accept the process, to understand that it’s part of the journey, and to build our own inner resilience. It’s about bouncing forward and using adversity as a catalyst to get better and become stronger.
And we also need to remember that we are part of a community – that when we are vulnerable, we can lean on each other and lift each other up. And together, we are so much more resilient than we know. ” ~ Green Renaissance
“This work is not for yourselves – kill that spirit of ‘self’. If you can rise, bring someone with you” – Charlotte Maxeke.
Filmed in Cape Town, South Africa.
Featuring Mpumelelo Ncwadi.
Copyright by Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 4/2021
Become a Spotlight in our global community and join us for the NEXT WILDLY FREE ELDER GLOBAL ZOOM CALL: May 7, 2021 – Focus: “WILD WRITING” with Laurie Wagner
If you are interested in joining this 90 minute call please contact us from this link: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/conscious-aging-conversations/
On BEing
Spotlight Blog Post By Gael McKenzie
For many years I remained focused on DOing. If I DO more, I will achieve more. It was a habit. I had grown up with parents who worked hard all their lives. Yet “abundance” (in the traditional sense) appeared to be something that other families had; not ours. We always “just got by”. But keep working hard, DO more! This attitude was confirmed by our community, the schools I went to, society at large.
Until I came across Ontology; the philosophy of BEing. About 10 years ago, already in my fifties, I started studying what it means to be human and the nature of human existence. How could I tap into my real potential –beyond just DOing more?
I learned that whatever age we are, language creates reality, whether that’s internal communication with self or vocally with others. What common beliefs about myself did I develop in childhood? What conversations did I have in my own mind, that led to this excessive DOing through most of my life?
I also discovered that my moods or emotions shape my perceptions and attitudes and can be signposts to serve a specific purpose and that the human body is an expression of who we think we are. I certainly didn’t grow up with a tool kit that taught me to “relate” with or to my emotions or body! In the words of Julio Olalla from the Newfield Network: “Body and emotions as domains of learning are largely ignored”.
So from that, I was able to deduce that the world showed up for me according to who I was BEing –and not purely from what I was DOing. My way of BEing was the underlying driver of my communication with the world. And what made even more of an impression was that my conversations, my emotions and my body could change–in any given moment. We are never too old to make these kind of changes!
There’s more than one reason, I believe, that our bodies request of us to slow down, by degrees, as we age: to embrace the essence of BEing that we have either embraced in our younger years or not. Which isn’t to say we stop DOing. Purely that in BEing we can start the process of acceptance and letting go into the precious and miraculous cycle of life and death.
Now, as a Personal Development Coach through my online business You Inside Out, I support others, of all ages 18 and beyond, from an ontological perspective. Clients develop a different way of BEing, achieving a future they desire for themselves, by noticing who they are showing up as in their own internal world -and how they then relate with the world around them. Rather than aiming to achieve one-off performance orientated goals, we can learn to become an observer of ourselves and make sustainable shifts by looking at what limits us and who we might BE and BEcome as we shapeshift on this extraordinary journey.
“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin
Copyright 3/2021 by Wildly Free Elder and Gael McKenzie
Finding Connection Through The Wild
Image: Nevada City, N. Caliornia, Bare Feet in Snow
“We can’t change the world, but we can change how we live in it.”
Grant Hine – Ecotherapist and Guide
Grant Hine, Ecotherapist and Guide starts this short video off by saying “just to walk on this earth is a miracle”. It indeed is.
While living in Vermont for 3 years, with frequent snow storms during the Winter, my bare feet found their way to the snow that lay outside my door just for the fun of it. To experience my lifelong intimate connection with nature in yet another form.
I will never forget that first experience and how it felt to connect the soles of my feet with the frozen water element in the form of snow. It was different from when I would walk on the earth barefoot in the Spring or Summer feeling the energy of nature move up through my body with the warmth of the day embracing me, and certainly different from walking on the sometimes very hot sand of Southern California beaches.
After the first initial exclamations of feeling the cold I sunk into walking in snow like I was made for it. Delight washed over me and though alone I cried out into the natural world “this Southern California girl goes barefoot anywhere!.”
Walking back into the house after this first bare foot snow adventure I realized the experience wasn’t over with yet. The tingling up through my body as my feet woke up to the sensation of warmth actually woke all of me in celebration. I felt wildly alive!
Celebration of embodied life in the moment with the natural world as companion and guide. It had always been that way my entire life.
The intimate connection, love of nature and all life flowing from it was a grounded anchor for a shy girl who always loved hugging trees, watching pollywogs turn into frogs, hiking trails where no one else had been, sitting by water and writing poetry, collecting shells on the beach, riding the waves into shore with absolute joy and abandon, and dropping into deeper states of peace sitting by a stream or river capturing the sound of its flowing within.
I always knew that I was never alone within the embrace of nature for it nourished and built the inner strength necessary to navigate life as a human woman. It still does and always will.
Take time to watch this short Green Renaissance video with Grant Hine as your guide. Perhaps you may resonate as deeply as I did….
What we are truly lacking is a connection with the wild world and its rhythms. Grant takes us out into the Cape Floral Kingdom, where we kick off our shoes and walk barefoot on the earth, touch the bark of a tree, watch a spider spin a web, listen to the birds singing in the branches above. We reawaken our senses.
So no matter where you live, get out there and be wild every now and then. You’ll find connection again.”
Filmed in the Cape Floral Kingdom, South Africa.
Featuring Grant Hine – Ecotherapist and Guide (zenguiding.com)
Chasing The Sublime
“”It is the getting in we find hard, not the being in.”
“Why do we put ourselves into the path of discomfort and risk? What drives us to get too cold and too tired, to battle with fear, in the name of adventure?
Follow the originators of The Outdoor Swimming Society, ‘swim twins’ Kate Rew and Kari Furre, in this hauntingly beautiful glimpse at the physicality of UK cold water swimming, as two elder friends set out to chase the sublime.”
WELCOME to two new Spotlights in our Wildly Free Elder community. Conscious Eldering with RON PEVNY, AND Ageless Vitality with WOWZA.
Click on this link If you would like to become part of this community by being a Wildly Free Elder SPOTLIGHT
Laughter Across The Generations
SPOTLIGHT BLOG POST BY ANN ROBERTS, The Sunny Optimist
‘Youngers’ who make me smile
One of the great things about getting older is that the younger generation can bring fun and laughter to your life. The other day I was with our granddaughter Gracie, and I did not hear what she said. I asked her to repeat what she had said. She looked at me and smiled. Then quite naturally, she said, ‘Nana, do you have your hearing aids in?’ David nudge me in the ribs, and we both laughed out loud. I love that she knows my little quirks well enough to ask me that question. I love myself because I could laugh and not feel diminished at my losing my faculties, LOL!
I love that I have memories of my kids ‘seeing’ my Dad in a similar way as he headed for 70 and beyond. I have this sense of deja vu around my Dad and his journey through his elderhood. I know that my life is on a similar trajectory as I see my life reflected in my memories of him. He was such a significant presence in my life. And he was quirky too! He would take his hearing aids out when he wanted some peace and quiet. Something I have to confess I have done on occasion!
- Does this little anecdote remind you of someone you love?
- What little quirks might you have that make others smile?
As always, feel free to share a comment.
Twins the New Trend
This experience with Gracie took me to think about other young people that have brought fun and laugher into my life. Earlier this week, I came across twin brothers Tim, and Fred Williams, who have a YouTube platform called Twins the New Trend. They create ‘reaction’ videos of themselves listening to music they have never heard before. It is really great fun to watch them. They are becoming a bit of a sensation; in fact, Barak Obama surprised them recently with a Zoom call because they listened to his playlist.
Below is them listening to Phil Collin’s song Something in the Air Tonight. I smiled all the way through as I watched this. The video is 7 minutes long, but I recommend you stick with it. I decided to give you the whole video because there is a lovely build-up to their reaction when Phil’s crescendo begins.
There is something very appealing and refreshing about these young men. The first is their relationship as twins. As is often the case, there is an energetic shorthand in how they communicate with each other. The connection between them as they play off each other’s reactions is delightful. Then there is a genuineness in their responses to the music. You can see that they love music. They are genuinely open to the artist’s creativity, whatever genre or decade the music comes from. I have a sense that this openness reaches into other territories of their lives.
In these times of challenge and isolation, music is such a gift. Younger generations are a gift. To have the chance to just be with young people who are open to and actively engaged in celebrating music lifted my optimism today.
- I wonder what music delights you and lifts your spirits?
Family Memories
So here is another memory in celebration of the younger generation. When I am a bit down in the dumps, I have a wee video that I go to that fills my heart with delight. Back in September last year David and I took our then three-year-old grandson Noah out for the day. He is an adventurous little boy who loves to be outside, and he is entirely at home in nature. We have a favourite walk near our house that takes us deep into a Glen that runs alongside the river Gore. It is quiet with lots of nooks and crannies for Noah to explore in safety. We love being out in nature with the grandkids. It always lifts our spirits.
There is also a magical paddling place there that we have visited often. Noah and I have water shoes so that we can paddle there to our heart’s content. Off come our trousers, socks, and shoes, and then we embark on the next water adventure.
Below is a video of Noah and Grandad playing a game of making waves with a tree in the river. It was one of those special moments that, as grandparents, we treasure.
Click here or on the photo to view the video.
Watch out for the little accident.
And so dear friends and family, this has been a lovely newsletter to create for you. Hoping you are well and surrounded by happy memories that sustain you.
As always I am happy to hear from you.
Much appreciation to you for this journey.
Ann
Thank You to Ann Roberts for giving permission to share this issue of her Sunny Optimist Newsletter. Make certain to take the time to look at the video in the segment “Twins The New Trend”. Loved their reactions and openness to a new piece of music!
Be Like Water
Guest Blog Post Video from Green Renaissance
“This pandemic hasn’t been easy for any of us. It has been terrifying and exhausting. It has been a time defined by loss – of freedom, opportunities and lives. And the year ahead will continue to be difficult to navigate. The world around us is in crisis and we’re trying to hold onto everything that helps us make sense of what has hit us. We have lost the feeling of certainty that gives us a sense of safe belonging in this world.
We are all collectively living through uncharted times, and this is when we need people to lean on. We need to find ways to be there for each other, to help each other through. If there is any silver lining to be found, it has been rediscovering our collective capacity for compassion. ”
This film features Cathy Winter
Filmed in Suurbraak, South Africa
Healing Scarcity Through A Gift Economy
Serviceberries
“Gratitude creates a sense of abundance, the knowing that you have what you need. In that climate of sufficiency, our hunger for more abates and we take only what we need, in respect for the generosity of the giver.
If our first response is gratitude, then our second is reciprocity: to give a gift in return. What could I give these plants in return for their generosity? It could be a direct response, like weeding or water or a song of thanks that sends appreciation out on the wind. Or indirect, like donating to my local land trust so that more habitat for the gift givers will be saved, or making art that invites others into the web of reciprocity.
Gratitude and reciprocity are the currency of a gift economy, and they have the remarkable property of multiplying with every exchange, their energy concentrating as they pass from hand to hand, a truly renewable resource.” From “The Serviceberry” by Robin Wall Kimmerer
At times in life we find ourselves purging possessions that we no longer need or even use very often. Starting a train of thought about why we hang on to things, and what meaning and impact they have in our lives and by default to others around us. Is it based in scarcity and survival?
Western economics is based on the assumption of scarcity as the main principle. Anything and everything in a market is implicitly defined as scarce and how people use resources and respond to incentives.
Ecological economics is a growing economic theory that expands the conventional definition by working to integrate Earth’s natural systems and human values, where human and non-human life can flourish.
In Sacred Economics, Charles Eisenstein reflects on the economy of ecosystems: “In nature, headlong growth and all-out competition are features of immature ecosystems, followed by complex interdependency, symbiosis, cooperation, and the cycling of resources. The next stage of human economy will parallel what we are beginning to understand about nature. It will call forth the gifts of each of us; it will emphasize cooperation over competition; it will encourage circulation over hoarding; and it will be cyclical, not linear. Money may not disappear anytime soon, but it will serve a diminished role even as it takes on more of the properties of the gift. The economy will shrink, and our lives will grow.”
A gift economy is a system based on the currency of relationships expressed in gratitude, as interdependence and the ongoing cycles of reciprocity. This nurtures community bonds which enhance mutual well being. The economic unit is “we” rather than “I” based in diversity, community support and collaboration.
Recently, as I have been clearing away possessions and past identities of endeavors in preparation for a relocation out of my native state of California, I have found the pure joy and freedom held within the “we” of a gift economy even when selling something no longer needed. In exploring this territory over the last year I recognized that most of my life was spent struggling with the assumption of scarcity and living it as a fact of life.
This past month I have experienced a continuous expansion and freedom as I sold, donated, gave away and recycled. it started with a portable massage table that was sold to a local acupuncturist who would continue healing work on its surface; a Buddha statue that went to a man who was giving it as a Valentines Day gift to place out in the garden of someone he loved; a laser printer given away to a Special Ed teacher at the local high school; an antique kimono I had been carrying around forever that needed repair to one sleeve; and many items to the local Hospice for their thrift stores to support the important work they do.
Whether selling items, donating, recycling or giving away the actions were based in gratitude, reciprocity and a circular flow of abundance and interconnection to people I had not come in contact with before. Never in scarcity. Always in the knowing of “enough” to be shared and passed on.
The Special Ed teacher thanked me for my generosity and said that her students would benefit greatly from a printer easy to use for their projects. And I smiled this morning as I received a text from the woman who took the kimono. She had repaired it and was joyfully wearing this beautiful art. A picture of a local river here in N. California that I had donated $60 for at a silent auction for Hospice a couple of years ago, went right back to them to sell at their thrift store thus gaining additional monetary support for their contribution to the community.
As I ready myself for a cross country drive to my new home of Asheville, N. Carolina I feel only gratitude and a freedom born of knowing that the reciprocity and regeneration will continue to flow.
Cooperation, circulation, cyclical…renewable.
Stay tuned for the unfolding adventure….
RESOURCE: https://gratefulness.org/resource/the-serviceberry/ , By Robin Wall Kimmerer, Plant Ecologist, mother, scientist, professor, and enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation.
WELCOME NEW MEMBER OF THE WILDLY FREE ELDER COMMUNITY: RAJYO ALLEN
WILDLY FREE ELDER 