WILDLY FREE ELDER
The Artistry of Aging
Elder Muse/Day #6: “Softening The Clenched Fist”
Blue Ridge Mountains/Western N. Carolina/Photography by Gaye Abbott
The letter below touched me deeply this morning as many of the On Being offerings do. It felt timely to share this. I trust that you will pass it on to others to encourage listening in on future and past global conversations plus serving as a catalyst for our own explorations.
“On Being is a conversation that has been building for over two decades with wise and graceful lives — across spiritual inquiry and science, social healing and the arts. On Being with Krista Tippett is a Peabody award-winning show that began on public radio with content that is:
An Adventure
in the mystery and the art of living
A Home
for shaping your presence in a tender, tumultuous world
A Companion
to the pleasure in thinking deeply with others
A Calling
to be part of the generative story of our time
Struck by the timeliness of Krista being at Plum Village, I am presently reading a historical fiction book entitled “The Mountains Sing” by Nguyen Phan Que Mai which tells an enveloping multigenerational tale of the Tran family, set against the backdrop of the Vietnam War.
The author was born into the Vietnam War in 1973 witnessing the wars devastation and its aftermath. As I learn of the Vietnamese peoples experience through this narrative it changes forever what I thought I knew. The impact for Americans was also devastating and touched me personally as a young pregnant wife of a man that had to serve in the war and came back forever changed.
“It is a vivid, gripping story steeped in the language and traditions of Viet Nam and brings to life the human costs of this war from the point of view of the Vietnamese people themselves, while showing us the true power of kindness and peace.”
Please take a few minutes to read Krista’s letter. I invite you to try the “Clenched Fist” exploration and see if it has relevance for you……wherever you may live.
Reflections from Plum Village on healing our world’s pain
Dear Friends,
I’m writing at the end of a retreat at the Plum Village monastery in France.
This place of peace has given me much to reflect on as I’ve watched our world this past week.
This is the place Thich Nhat Hanh came in exile as war raged in his country, Vietnam, in 1966. His book The Miracle of Mindfulness, which has such a tender practicality to it, reads differently when you know that it was written as a manual for monks and nuns seeking to be healing forces for people caught on every side of terrible violence.
The origin story of the Plum Village is one of the images that have touched me, and will continue to nourish and challenge me. This plot of land in a village in the French countryside was, during World War II, a site of bitter controversy and bloody reckoning. It is said that here, members of the local community who had participated in the Nazi occupation were executed. This ground was thereafter considered haunted, ruined for habitation or building. But Thay, upon visiting the site and hearing this story, decided that this was precisely where his community should settle. They were called, as he understood, to move towards and attend to the ruptures of this world.
And on the first morning of this retreat, the monk offering a Dharma talk invited each of us to clench a fist with one of our hands. Try this, if you will: move to force that fist open with your other hand. The fist only clenches tighter — as if by its own will, a natural reaction to force. And I invite you to try, then, a counterintuitive approach: cradle the fist with your other hand. With the same naturalness, but a wholly other quality of feeling and response, the fist releases. It softens.
A sea of clenched fists is a metaphor for our world right now. This exercise brings me back to a conviction I’ve long held, but can find hard to sustain in the tormented adolescence of this century: one of the most powerful ways we can be present to our world’s pain is with a countercultural tenderness.
I like that word “calling” above, as you may know about me. So many of us are asking how we can be healing forces, what we are called to in this moment. And as instinctive and right as it is that we creatively and imaginatively ponder how we can be actively present to our world’s pain and its promise, there is a quieter calling that each of us can pick up in the places we know and live: to be a calmer of fear. To soften the fist that so many of our bodies and hearts have clenched into. Like it or not — for an action plan feels stronger — this is slow, relational, essential groundwork that we must lay if we are to find our way to our belonging to each other and our shared callings to create a transformed world we want all of our children to inhabit.
Nourishing and activating that belonging is our deepest calling at On Being. Our Wisdom Season just concluded — which you can listen to and share as a whole with this playlist — was one quiet offering. (And we’d love to hear how it landed with you.) We will be spending the next few months engaging complex conversations in the Netherlands and the UK, while preparing to produce a special short season towards healing after the U.S. election in the fall.
One thing is certain: whoever wins, my country will be as fractured as before. And so, in 2025, we are going to hit the road with a national On Being conversation we hope to build, convening as well as conversing in live events, around the U.S.
In the months ahead, you’ll get the Pause in your inbox monthly. This will continue to be the place to hear all of our news and future adventures as they unfold.
I wish so fervently for you, for all of us, some respite and restoration in the months ahead — invite you, indeed, to know your need of these things precisely because of your love for this world, and your desire to be of service.
I send you my blessings, and my love – until soon!
Krista
Krista Tippett Image by Pascal Perich © All Rights Reserved.
31 days of Daily Elder Muse blog posts accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet. May these words, stories and images assist you to remember who you are….and how you can be of service.
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/20/24
Elder Muse/Day #5: Making Peace With Silence
Photo by Gael McKenzie/Queensland, Australia
Being more naturally attuned to kinesthetic and visual stimuli I have always found silence to be a sanctuary for deepening awareness and increasing appreciation for embodied life moments and my place within them. In fact, if the truth be known I go out of my way to avoid the chaos of man made sounds.
It is from a quiet and peaceful setting where we can dwell in this moment and find stillness – a balm for our heart and often busy mind. In the midst of the noise of energetic chaos in our world we are often tugged in a multitude of directions to pay attention to events, people and situations far removed from our sphere of influence.
Seemingly “important” for our survival and well being. But are they?
Perhaps silence is the guide we are looking for to expand beyond the fear and feeling of overwhelm…..into trust.
I wonder what silence will whisper to my heart today….how about yours?
“Do not fear silence. Make peace with silence. For it is in the quiet moments that you will hear a message just for you.”
~Nicky Morris, Springbok, South Africa
Filmed in Springbok, South Africa. Featuring Nicky Morris.
All of our films are made possible through the generous support of our patrons. To be part of this journey : https://www.patreon.com/reflectionsoflife
Who is Reflections of Life? We are Michael and Justine – passionate filmmakers, living off-grid and dedicating our time to making films that we hope will inspire and share positivity out into the world.”
Over the next 31 days you will receive a Daily Elder Muse blog post accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet. May these words, stories and images assist you to remember who you are….
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/19/24
Elder Muse/Day #4: Be The Source of Laughter
Purple Beauty Pepper/Photography by Gaye Abbott
In the last few years I consciously decided to go out into the world with intentions. They are to be kind, to listen giving my full attention even if I might not agree, to notice the beauty in the ordinary, to extend compassion, and to be the source of laughter.
These seemingly simple intentions create experiences that touch others – whether it be human, animal or nature herself – in ways that shift attention. Though there are times when it is more difficult to practice because I am experiencing my own challenges, it is the exact remedy for coming back into the possibilities there are for connection, shifts and positive change.
I am fortunate enough to have a weekly Tailgate Farmer’s Market in my small town within walking distance of my house. Being someone who loves local organic produce and supporting our local farmers and trades people, you will see me there interacting with the vendors and giving greetings to those I know. It is a great source of community and interaction.
Conversations evolve and unfold themselves, sometimes brief and sometimes giving support where needed. A few months ago when a hail storm hit and devastated one of my favorite local farms it meant embracing the owner as she cried about the loss of most all of her produce. The community stepped in quickly and immediately started a Go Fund Me to assist with the financial impact.
Another thing I can always count on at these markets are smiles and at times spontaneous laughter. To be a source of laughter I have learned that one must let go of trying to be that and not censor whatever wants to come out of your mouth. It is like improv humor and most often surprises me.
Yesterday I was at an extension of the market inside a building and looking at produce from another one of my favorite local farmers. Ava is a delightful woman and one can completely trust her produce for being organic and in some cases very unique. There are always smiles to exchange.
It was my turn to purchase and I held up a most beautiful and unique deep purple and yellow pepper and asked her what it was called. There were several others standing by her produce waiting their turn, her sister by her side, and the ambient sound of voices scattered in the room.
When she told me it was a “Purple Beauty” I had this very confused expression on my face and said to her in a questioning voice completely innocent, a “Purple Booty”? As Ava said, “no, a Purple Beauty”, I responded “well it’s been a long time!” and immediately joined in the raucous laughter spreading out into the room. .
Did I plan on saying that? Absolutely not. I like to think that it comes from my inner uncensored comedian that is often a source of laughter for myself and others, and is never worried about timing or being “appropriate”. After all we are elders and can get away with it.
I say, go out into the world and unleash your inner comedian. You may be surprised at what happens!
when the world
goes mad
become wildly kind
to everyone
everyone
everyone
my love,
~ you can’t control
much
but you control how
you treat others
in these breaking news
heartbreaking times
when nothing feels
certain
let your raw kindness
be a certainty
allow your compassion
to become a North Star
stamped up in
the sky for
others to follow
back home
~ john roedel
Over the next 31 days you will receive a Daily Elder Muse blog post accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet. May these words, stories and images assist you to remember who you are….
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/18/24
Elder Muse/Day #3: Wayfinder
“A deeply intuitive person who has the courage to navigate through the chaos and confusion of darkness and division, who refuses to accept the dysfunction of the status quo, and who devotes their life to exploring a more joyful, harmonious, cooperative, creative and sustainable existence on Earth.”
It was on a morning walk today at a nearby park in my small mountain town that this mushroom caught my attention. Though I do not know the name of it (I am certain some readers will be able to educate me!) its beauty and uniqueness captivated me.
This mushroom is in fact the “fruit” of the fungus, while the majority of the fungal organism lives in the soil interwoven with tree roots as a vast network of mycelium. The fallen log provides a perfect home for this “fruit” to find its way.
Photography by Gaye Abbott
What better example of a “Wayfinder” than this “mycorrhizal network” connecting individual plants and trees together to transfer water, nitrogen, carbon and other minerals. Indeed a harmonious, cooperative, creative and sustainable network that operates from an ancient biological blueprint. Here the older, taller individuals – elders – take care of the youngsters and those who need additional support.
The intelligence of nature can be a catalyst and reminder for us. Instead of getting lost in the chaos and becoming overwhelmed by fear and negativity – devoting our attention to mindful, cooperative, sensitive, and intuitive ways of being in our individual and intimately interconnected lives.
In other words, becoming an example for others – the most powerful and courageous action we can take right now.
Over the next 31 days you will receive a Daily Elder Muse blog post accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet. May these words, stories and images assist you to remember who you are….
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/17/24
Elder Muse/Day #2: How To Be In The Darkness
Rainbow Clouds After Rainstorm
He was alone for the first time in many years. His loving long term partner had died only last week and he had no idea how to navigate this chaotic world without them. Without someone or something to prove to the world who he was as a man and the importance that had been attached to him like his own skin.
It felt like a darkness that he had never explored before. That he was scared to navigate because there were no known paths to walk. One day a “familiar” appeared to accompany him on this journey. A companion who would not only protect him but also guide him when he felt lost and alone in the darkest of his days.
Where somehow he would be able to open his heart again and start trusting that there would be others walking this path who would remind him what it is like to be fully and completely alive. This wasn’t something that the culture taught him, especially as an elder. He had been taught only to protect, not show too much emotion, and define himself by what he did professionally. And then become “invisible” and “useless” to the society around him as he reached his 7th decade of life.
There seemed to be possibilities that he could explore but his vision for a future, minus the person he loved most in the world and whom he felt safe with, left him bereft of life ever having meaning again. His days were spent in memory and the past, grieving in the present, and no thought of any future.
One day, guided by the dragon that had appeared to him so suddenly, he was walking in the nearby forest and found for the first time a very old elder Oak of 800 years. The instructions were clear. Take off your shoes and bare your soles, and your soul, in the presence of this elder. This oak held wisdom and possibility if he could only listen to the vibrations that transmitted through his bare feet on the earth and his hands on the skin of the tree.
800-year-old Elder Oak
Closing his eyes so as to be more in touch with the flow of energy and the messages encoded there he became still. This was a darkness that yielded insight that he desperately needed right now. How to honor the wholeness of who he was now in this moment.
To let go of the patterns that had him stuck, enculturated and conditioned into a tight container where he could hardly breathe. They had helped him survive and even do well according to societies standards for men, but now they simply stopped him from fully living and allowing joy, awe and wonder to express. From recognizing his own values and trusting others. From opening his heart again.
The darkness he explored with eyes closed, feet on the earth and hands in connection with the oak revealed a love so great that it was almost blinding. Like the rainbow clouds he had seen a long time ago as a child after a rainstorm.
And then in that moment she arrived with her familiar. A woman of magic and mystery, one of the spirits of the old oak, who carried with her those lessons of life hard won. She taught him about compassion for himself and towards others as she had learned along her own life path. Through the tangles, the thorns, the fears, challenges, and the struggles. Through the darkness that transmitted valuable lessons on how to be in the world as an elder. As a human being.
Through compassion she had learned to open her heart once again and trust the choices she made. Beyond gender or age. This she transmitted to the man who stood before her now who would go back into the world living from the wholeness – that essence of being – that was there all along. It would never be forgotten again.
Remember, our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever……
What actually sustains us, what is fundamentally beautiful, is compassion – for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty inflames the heart and enchants the soul. ~Lupita Nyong’o
SWEET DARKNESS BY DAVID WHYTE
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb
tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
the world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn.
Anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
Is too small for you.
© David Whyte, Copyrighted material.
Over the next 31 days you will receive a Daily Elder Muse blog post accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet. May these words, stories and images assist you to remember who you are….
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/16/24
Elder Muse/Day #1: Sha-con-o-hey
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
~William Blake
As she walked through the trees filled with the leaves of summer, following the trail set out long ago by those who came before her, she could feel the ancients speaking to her in a language only those who had reached the elder stage of life could understand.
It was not in words we know, but instead in images and sensations that coursed through her body – a reminder of being vibrantly alive and an offering of presence – of breath filled with the tang of natures offerings.
Of a connection that had been forgotten and lost….but that now was birthing once again to remind humans what is vital for their continued presence on this Earth….
Walking on the path of a Blue Ridge Mountain trail there is a feeling of intense grounding that is different from any experienced in other mountains…..and I have walked many trails in many mountain ranges over this seven decades of embodiment.
These mountains are ancient with an age of approximately 480 million years.
The Cherokee (also known as Keetoowah or Tsalagi) name for the Blue Ridge Mountains is Shaconage, meaning “the place of blue smoke,” and is pronounced Sha-con-o-hey. What a beautiful rhythmic sounding name. It makes me want to break out in song.
The Blue Ridge Mountains, named for their apparent color, are perceived as shades of blue due to a common chemical released by the native trees that scatters blue light from the sun. They are a sub-range of the larger Appalachian Mountain range and they are the second oldest range in the world.
This could be why I feel such a deep connection and belonging as I explore what it is to be, well not ancient, but of a certain age. Walk with me for while…..
“People in Appalachia insisted the mountains breathed, and it was true: the steep hollow behind the farmhouse took up one long, slow inhalation every morning and let it back down through their open windows and across the fields throughout the evening – just one full breath each day.”
~ From – “Prodigal Summer” by Barbara Kingslover
Over the next 31 days you will receive a Daily Elder Muse blog post accessed from the unfolding of the day – not planned or scheduled. Yes, the Muse is back again during this powerful and challenging shift time on our planet.
I have no idea what will arise…..but then do we really know ahead of time what our moment to moment daily experience will be? We are only asked to pay attention. ~Gaye Abbott
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page by clicking on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/15/24
Only Inhale and Exhale
When I first read the poem below I rather liked it for its creative imaginings of organs of the body dictating our lives. I still do, but realize upon closer reflection that it is not as simple as giving the heart, mind and lungs defined jobs. Life is messy and there are times when we feel drawn to clear away the debris of the past and let go of the fears of the future before we can be in the present moment with our inhales and exhales.
Even then there are innumerable people and other sentient life forms that are so challenged in the moment of inhale and exhale that the past and the future can be a refuge of sorts. The violence, wars, trauma and lack of basic living necessities can drive consciousness into survival mode where the inhale and exhale are truly gifts to be grateful for. In these challenging times all of us are being called upon to operate with all aspects of our being. To be fully present as much as is possible without the conflicts between head and heart.
For those of us who are fortunate enough to live lives not marred by daily trauma this poem may have something worth reflecting on, appreciating the perspective with a smile!
my brain and
heart divorced
a decade ago
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become
eventually,
they couldn’t be
in the same room
with each other
now my head and heart
share custody of me
I stay with my brain
during the week
and my heart
gets me on weekends
they never speak to one another
– instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:
“This is all your fault”
on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past
and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future
they blame each
other for the
state of my life
there’s been a lot
of yelling – and crying
so,
lately, I’ve been
spending a lot of
time with my gut
who serves as my
unofficial therapist
most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage
and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut’s plush leather chair
that’s always open for me
~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up
last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head
I nodded
I said I didn’t know
if I could live with
either of them anymore
“my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,”
I lamented
my gut squeezed my hand
“I just can’t live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,”
I sighed
my gut smiled and said:
“in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,”
I was confused
– the look on my face gave it away
“if you are exhausted about
your heart’s obsession with
the fixed past and your mind’s focus
on the uncertain future
your lungs are the perfect place for you
there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either
there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment
there is only breath
and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out.”
this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves
and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs
I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs
before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said
“what took you so long?”
~ john roedel
(lung art by Paula Rosello)
How do you let go?
…into those moments of “only now” residing in each inhale and exhale while embracing the texture, beauty and challenges of those experiences. An extraordinary acceptance of what is unfolding within the human journey – all of it. Can we face whatever is momentarily taking our attention, and not fight it?
Remembering to draw upon a transparency and discernment of attention that informs just where these moments of focus and exploration are being spent. Giving us choice to stay there or not.
Celebrating the milestones of embodied years here reflecting the light that radiates outward from within, redefining what is “beautiful”. Fully appreciating what is left of our ordinary life moments no matter how long that is to be…..for they are filled with the opportunity to realize who we really are.
Inhale and exhale….ordinary precious moments to be savored and treasured.
I now invite you to spend a few minutes to take in what Annie Norgarb of South Africa has to say about “An Ordinary Beautiful Life”. 🙂
With age can come confidence, and freedom to realize who we really are. As we age, we grow into a deeper kind of beauty, one which works its way from the inside out. It’s a more authentic beauty because it radiates from within. So let’s celebrate lives well lived. And feel lucky to wake each morning to appreciate what the new day has to offer.”
Filmed in McGregor, South Africa. Featuring Annie Norgarb.
All Reflections of Life films are made possible through the generous support of our patrons. To be part of this journey : / reflectionsoflife
Who is Reflections of Life? We are Justine and Michael (previously known as Green Renaissance). We use our passion for filmmaking and our love of storytelling, to remind our audience of one simple truth – that we are all human. The more that we understand and believe in this interconnectedness, the more we will treat ourselves, one another, and planet earth with a greater sense of compassion.
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen from the HOME page if you click on the Blog Archives tab.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 07/14//24
Living Each Day As Your First
“Rather than living every day as if it’s my last, I’ve shifted to a gentler approach of living every day as if it’s my first. I want to wake up and meet the day with the wonder of a newborn, to cultivate childlike qualities like curiosity and play.”
It spontaneously came in and I acted upon it, much to the delight of the Bernese Mountain dogs I was caring for while their human was out of town. It was dinner time and as I was starting to place the food in their bowls I broke out in song and movement – the “Dinner Dance”. The words simply came to me in the moment and the movement a natural part of celebrating meal time.
Much to my joy, as I started in with this improv play the dogs joined me, one singing – not barking, but singing – a unique tune all her own, and the other got up on her hind legs and bounced up and down in her version of the dance. Needless to say I was laughing so hard that I almost spilled their food on the floor moving around the house.
Maddie (dancer) and Luna (singer)
Now you must know that there is a “Breakfast Dance” and song as well. The words are always different except for the very first line that primes the dogs to join in. I never know what will come out of my mouth or what body movements will unwind themselves.
“However you play, it is an act of celebrating your embodiment during the short time you have to give thanks for this gift of life.” ~Joe Primo, Grateful Living
When I saw the quote which begins this post I knew that for me as an elder it is indeed a much gentler way to enter into each day, a heck of a lot more fun, and almost always surprising and engaging. When I choose people to spend time with these days I greatly value if they can play, be curious and have the ability to see the humor and wonder in life…..even within the challenges.
Choosing play and curiosity as consistent options takes being in the moment and trusting what arises, as well as having the courage to be moving to the beat of a different drum other than the narrow confines of the mainstream culture.
Here is one example that arose spontaneously in the moment while living in Austin, TX for awhile. Thankfully I did keep Bubble Bears (plastic bears that raise a bubble wand when you squeeze their tummy) in the car when I found myself in an endless traffic jam. Sensing the tension within myself, and everyone around me, I grabbed a bear, put down my window and blew bubbles. Needless to say I starting smiling as I watched the drivers in the cars near me lighten up as did I. The child within me was very, very happy!
Some days it feels like an endless litany of new challenges to face being in an aging body. I don’t know about you, but for me living as if it is the first day of the rest of my life shifts attention to the childlike qualities of wonder, awe, play, creativity and curiosity.
Indeed, like the elder on the bike in the image at the top of this post who says:
Don’t take life so seriously.
It is not like you’re going to get out alive.
Filmed in Montagu, South Africa by Reflections of Life. Featuring Hanna Naude
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives.
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 06/14//24
Peace Is A Practice
Just yesterday I was having lunch with a friend and we started talking about where we grew up. In his case it was Long Island, New York with lots of time spent in Manhattan. A real city boy!
He now lives here in Western N. Carolina where I do and has no plans to ever go back to New York to live. He shared how even visiting there puts him right back into the high stimulus, impatience and stress of the area. When he visits to see family or for work, before he knows it he notices that he takes on the same thinking and behaviors that he used to have when living there – much to his dismay.
This had me reflecting on how we can go into past behaviors and ways of being when confronted with places or people we spent a great deal of time in and with, situations growing up, or past traumas or memories. All of this laid down in our body/minds at very deep levels. It takes just one trigger, or in his case a multitude of simultaneous triggers, to take us right back into ways of being that we thought we had given up or healed a long time ago.
I started wondering how it would be to go back to these places, people and situations with a solid and grounded peace within. Would we still be taken off center and shift back into what used to be?
We obviously have continuous opportunities to test this during the chaotic times of unrest we live in right now, besides what we have experienced in our lives up to now. As I sit here in a clients home where I am house and dog/kitty sitting I bring the cup of tea mindfully up to my lips to take a sip. The birdsong is all around, the wind ruffles the leaves into a relaxing background sound, and the view is astonishingly beautiful.
View from Blue Ridge Mountains, Weaverville, N. Carolina/Photography by Gaye Abbott
It is easy to find peace in this setting. But what about the daily personal and global situations, stress, fear based ungrounded news and social media feeds we are bombarded with, high expectations coming mostly from within that we try to blame on others, financial and health concerns, fear of death….and it goes on and on if we place our attention there.
But what if there is another way to be. Where nothing takes you from a center of peace inside. That your actions and ways of being come from this deep well that never changes.
Before Thich Nhat Hahn’s passing I had followed his teachings, sat in sangha with him when he was in California, and always greatly respected his way of being and teaching, especially given what he was confronted with during the Vietnam war. It just so happens that this morning my email contained the video that is below and was a perfect reminder of coming from that place inside.
On this elder and human journey death comes closer in our awareness as we age. Knowing that at any time we can be taken from this physical existence, impressing upon us the desire to make the moments we have now count.
We can be in fear of it or realize that death must happen and is necessary for new life to appear. It can be as simple as moment to moment cell death within our bodies to make room for new cells and new life…..or it can be coming to terms with facing our inevitable death from this lifetime and this body. It can even be injuries, illness or surgeries that change the landscape of our daily being, activities, thinking and abilities.
How do we live life to the fullest in the present moment when faced with these challenges and possible restrictions and limitations?.
I certainly don’t have all the answers as I sit here injured myself, but I can certainly practice. Practice taking my focus off of limitation, restriction, fear and discomfort….and instead place my attention on the graceful movement of moments.
I have a great teacher right now whom I watch and take note. She is completely in the moment with all of her senses and if I needed an example of mindful walking she would be the one I would look to. Her name is Reese, and yes she is a doggie. *(see below for past post link on Reese)
There are times in the elder journey that accessing that peaceful center seems more challenging as an aging body seems to surprise you every day with a new challenge, and the violence and injustice all over continues. Once again, I ask myself the question where do I wish to place my focus and attention?
Not denying the challenges but learning from them. Coming from a space of peace inside instead of being in a state of reaction. This can affect everyone around you bringing clarity and calm in stressful situations and a powerful way you can be part of the shift towards peace. That is the practice….and it is not always easy.
Perhaps it is the challenges in life that teach us the most and bring us back to cultivating that deep well of peace within. So many daily opportunities to do just that. Join me there in the practice…..
*You can find a post on Reese as my teacher and guide in mindfulness and being in the moment here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2023/05/26/lessons-from-reese/ I just reread the post and realized that I have let go of agendas so much more since a year ago and have woven mindful ways of being into my daily life. I am grateful for the constant guidance of nature and animals….
Black Bear of the Blue Ridge Mountains – one of my teachers/Photography by Gaye Abbott
I invite you now to spend 23 mindful moments watching the video below: Uncommon Conversations: Thich Nhat Hanh and Br. David Steindl-Rast and Gratefulness
These two old friends – a Buddhist monk and a Benedictine monk – talk about their common work for peace; gratefulness bringing one into the now; the powers to let go, to forgive and to understand; and the power of community. The young monks at Plum Village speak to Anthony Chavez about their spiritual practice.
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 05/23/24
The Facts of Life: You Might As Well Love
Photography Above by Bruce Eversmeyer, Weaverville, N. Carolina
That you were born
and you will die. That you will sometimes love enough
and sometimes not. That you will lie
if only to yourself. That you will get tired. That you will learn most from the situations
you did not choose. That there will be some things that move you
more than you can say. That you will live
that you must be loved. That you will avoid questions most urgently in need of
your attention. That you began as the fusion of a sperm and an egg
of two people who once were strangers
and may well still be. That life isn’t fair.
That life is sometimes good
and sometimes better than good. That life is often not so good. That life is real
and if you can survive it, well,
survive it well
with love
and art
and meaning given
where meaning’s scarce. That you will learn to live with regret.
That you will learn to live with respect. That the structures that constrict you
may not be permanently constraining. That you will probably be okay. That you must accept change
before you die
but you will die anyway. So you might as well live
and you might as well love.
You might as well love.
You might as well love.
How rare it can be to have someone in our lives who we feel safe enough with to talk about what’s really on our minds and in our hearts. To witness our journey without judgement or advise, no matter where it takes us.
Or perhaps it is just that we haven’t cracked open our own hearts to the awareness and acceptance that it will be shaken, at times broken, and in moments – yes, sprung wide open enough that we will finally allow the fullness of life in without running away or hiding.
For if we don’t allow all aspects of life in then what is it all about anyway?
Perhaps this is what our being here, especially at this time in the earth’s history, is all about. The practice of being with another with a wide open heart, listening mindfully without interruption, and witnessing while allowing their own moments of clarity to emerge.
Can we allow ourselves to be that vulnerable and seen when it is our turn to be lovingly witnessed ?
A lifelong practice for certain and one I personally am more aware of than ever before. It has taken me three quarters of a century to learn this art of being with another….and with myself. And I am still learning through the ups and downs of embodied life and through friendships.
So many opportunities that come and go in our lives as people enter, stay for awhile – or longer – and then leave for many and various reasons. Grieving those lost opportunities where we were not capable or aware of “being within love” and getting in the way of what could be.
All on behalf of illuminated connection, understanding and the freedom held within being known
– and traveling this earth walk unalone…
“A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them.” – David Whyte
A deep friendship is one in which we feel seen and loved for exactly who we are. And when we are in someone’s company and they are in ours, we have agreed to bear witness to each other, and that is a beautiful thing – when we feel safe enough to talk about what’s really on our minds and in our hearts.
When we bear witness, we lovingly give our attention to the other without judgment. When we allow another to bear witness to us, we give ourselves the freedom to be known. It is an honour to bear witness, if we choose to see this life as an opportunity for extraordinary growth. So here’s to doing so in strength, in weakness, with resilience, with love.
Filmed in Portland, Oregon, United States.
Featuring Anis Mojgani https://www.thepianofarm.com/about
This new film release is the fourth story to form part of our Something Beautiful for the World collaboration together with Happen Films and Campfire Stories. If you missed any of the previous three films, you can see them here :
Belonging – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z44qW19GMBg
Rewilding a Forest – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ozGHIK03A
Be the Change at 85 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAaKB4T5mIg
Sending love to you all.
Justine and Michael x
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives
Gaye Abbott, Wildly Free Elder, 04/20/24
WILDLY FREE ELDER 