WILDLY FREE ELDER
The Artistry of Aging
Just Wondering
Guest Blog Post by Wildly Free Elder Spotlight, DIANA TURNER-FORTE
Scientists tell us that the eye of a storm is the calmest place, that includes tornadoes and hurricanes. Given the utter destruction and chaos caused by severe weather it’s hard to imagine that there is motionlessness, as well. Could that be the same for human beings?
Despite what the outer environment might look like, within each of us there is calm place, “that passes all understanding,” that we can access. And from that place, our centers—perhaps of the Cosmos—we can function with grace and love. Rumi said:
“Whatever circles comes from the center.”
Rumi
That makes living more of a spiral rather than a hierarchy. Circling encompasses a vastness and spaciousness beyond comprehension. A circle includes everyone and everything, where everybody is seen. Our imagination must step way outside the box to envision such greatness and fulfill such magnanimity.
Widening Circles by Rainer Maria Rilke translated by Joanna Macy I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world. I may not complete this last one but I give myself to it. I circle around God, around the primordial tower. I've been circling for thousands of years and I still don't know: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?
As a process of personal and spiritual growth, individuation engages the spirit or should I say, the soul moves the personality to lean into the collective consciousness without losing oneself. It’s a holy endeavor requiring silence, contemplation, and study; a never-ending cycle of deaths and rebirths that often challenge the individual to dig deeper into herself with the goal to acquire more wisdom, faith, and hope. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said:
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
It’s that place of love, reverence, and revelation that Dr. David R. Hawkins established on The Map of Consciousness that gets us vibrating at 500. Imagine vibrating at that level day in and day out. Imagine that level of calm and inner authority reverberating through your body, not easily challenged by the vicissitudes of environmental chaos, emotional upheavals, and overreactions to outer stimuli and divisiveness.
During the past few weeks, I’ve challenged myself to ask questions and engage in a process of Visio Divina through a study of Mary Magdalene. I wouldn’t be mentioning this except for the simplicity of the activity and at the same time the depth of inquiry; the ensouling that occurred as the result of not being in my head. It’s an ancient embodiment practice where feelings and inspiration rise to the surface.
If you are unfamiliar with Visio Divina, “divine seeing” opens our hearts to allow God to speak. What also happens is the ripple effect as life shows itself differently, because, well you are transformed after the experience and can choose to explore further or just be, without judgment. For my experience I used the paintings of artist, Sue Ellen Parkinson,
“I experience the creative process as a form of prayer. It is my sanest response to the world. It keeps me whole and connects me to mystery.“
Sue Ellen Parkinson
http://www.sueellenparkinson.com
The process of Visio Divina is relatively easy. Select an image that resonates with you and simply study it: the colors that stand out, the shapes, any other items in the painting that attracts your attention, note words that pop up in your imagination. You engage the process further by asking questions: “What am I to do with this information? How can I fully live with what I am hearing?” Then with pen and paper, free write without evaluating. Keep your pen moving for up to 10 minutes.
Stay in your body, relax, and enjoy the process.
“As the deer longs for the waterbrook, so yearns my soul for you, O God.”
Psalm 42
Share Wonderfully Human
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/24/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to Diana Turner-Forte
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Fractals of Growth
By Eric Alan
(Posted in Celebrate What’s Right With The World, by Dewitt Jones)
When I was a kid, I loved drawing the skeletons of trees, having discovered the grace of bare branches and trunks. They take no wrong turns. One little branch simply leads to the next, yet a beautiful pattern emerges. Each tree’s shape is unique yet consistent in how it forms. Even as a small child, I could mimic patterns of trees with a simple black pen, and watch growth emerge into character. I couldn’t predict or plan my tree drawings, but I didn’t need to. It felt like magic. It still does. It mirrors how we all grow as people.
Tree character shows best in winter, when the camouflage of leaves has fallen away. All that remains is what’s strong enough to withstand hard weather, and that core strength is beautiful. Locally, oaks reveal themselves most. They’re closest to what I instinctively drew as a child.
In my own growth, I discovered fractals and chaos theory while attaining a mathematics degree. Fractals are exactly what I’d noticed and drawn as a child: irregularities within irregularities, from which order emerges. Chaos theory explores a related coalescence, viewing chaos as infinitely complex order, where tiny changes in initial conditions produce vast differences in outcome. Together, they’re a description of nature’s wondrous ways, artistic and mathematical, even spiritual. They explain my childhood drawings and my love of winter oaks.
Time has illuminated for me how that applies to us too, in our weathered soul growth. I understand now that the intelligence of trees—brilliance needing no mind—is the intelligence of growth in general. Growth’s natural insistence is deeper than we are, even as it expresses itself through our compelling instinct to keep growing despite everything. All of life expresses growth’s timeless drive.
No accident that the most majestic oaks have withstood decades or even centuries of storms. The prevailing winds are visible in the jagged arcs of their unique branches. So is their relationship to other oaks around them, shaped differently by the same storms. It’s evident which trees were able to withstand old fierce weather, and which now feed the soil for others after their strength finally faded.
We too have to age to see into aging’s beauty; how roughness eventually becomes character. We have to live long enough to see our scars birth new growth. That we can and must do such growth feels ever more truthful to me, as storms of all forms intensify in our current era.
What tiny differences in our initial conditions will create vastly different outcomes for us, within the order of chaos? An essential one is outlook, and I’ve seen even in my toughest growth how gratitude and celebration change outcomes in relationships, work, even healing from illness or emotional injury. Gratitude is a gritty practical path, within our best and most difficult days.
So I think I’ll go back to drawing trees. I finally understand that my childhood scribbles were a drawing of our shared path forward. Together we’re a grove, an ecosystem, another expression of the fractals of oaks.
May we all grow with the wisdom of trees.
Eric Alan is an author, photographer, and workshop leader who has contributed to the Celebrate project since 2011. His forthcoming book Grateful by Nature will be released in May, 2022. His previous books include Wild Grace: Nature as a Spiritual Path, and Grace and Tranquility. More information at www.natureofgratitude.com
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/17/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
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A Peaceful Heart In A Time of War
“We become the peace that the world needs.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Feeling feet kissing the earth walking the small park path, a hawks cry took my attention high up to the top of a barren tree. Like an art piece with smooth bark in varied configurations and a lone hawk sitting atop surveying her territory.
A rain storm yesterday left earth smells wafting through the air. creatures scurrying on the ground and up trees, sound of water running in the creek that traverses the park, and sun warming face. In spite of this park being located right in the middle of a small southern city downtown, the sounds of cars from above faded as nature sounds permeated my being.
All I could feel in those moments in time was peace. And an intense gratefulness for mindfulness during a time of war – not just in the Ukraine – but in many other areas of the world. There has always been human war and destruction of some kind…. senseless as it is.
How do we have a peaceful heart and transfer that to others in our every day vastly interconnected life where grief, tears and sorrow are shared….. even though we may be on the other side of the planet from each other ?
We could be the person or family running for their life to get to safety of some sort with bombs bursting around us, or living where severe weather patterns from climate change threaten our security of home sanctuary, or economic/political/racial tensions impacting our livelihood, communities and families.
Where can we turn for some peace of mind….when everything seems to be disintegrating around us?
How do we not become paralyzed by what is happening around us….and at times to us?
I am aware that each of us will find our own way of being with all of this. It feels vitally important to not judge others for the way they find some peace of mind in this unsettling time on the earth. Where information grabs for our attention in every moment that we allow it.
We all seek the medicine of a free heart and peace of mind. How best can we embrace that together?
One Way….
“We become the peace that the world needs.” Thich Nhat Hanh
Another way….
“One thing I’ve learned from spending much of my own childhood in times of war and political upheaval is the importance of cultivating joy during crises.” Ari Honarvar
From the article: https://gratefulness.org/blog/when-savoring-a-pleasant-moment-is-a-radical-act/
Yet another way….
A Mighty Purpose
“In this video, Bronwen Lankers-Byrne inspires us to stand up for that which we hold sacred. She reminds us that our singular voice matters, urging that, “Each time one person speaks out against injustice, they create a tiny ripple of change. And when many different ripples join together, they form a current which our leaders cannot ignore.” Green Renaissance
And another….
“What does silence mean to you? Is it something you fear and fill up with distractions? Or is it something you actively seek as an antidote to a stressful life? Visiting silence can be an adventure, a life changing journey into peace and quiet. In silence we can hear our own thoughts. Silence speaks for the part of life that is beyond words. There is space, inner freedom and creativity. We find a place within us that is centered, a place of trust. As the noisy demands of daily life make us shrink inside, in silence we expand. Don’t underestimate the power of silence.” Filmed in Springbok, South Africa. Featuring Nicky Morris.
And Everyone Can…..
Light A Candle: https://gratefulness.org/light-a-candle/
FOR PEACE
As the fever of day calms towards twilight
May all that is strained in us come to ease.
We pray for all who suffered violence today,
May an unexpected serenity surprise them.
For those who risk their lives each day for peace,
May their hearts glimpse providence at the heart of history.
That those who make riches from violence and war
Might hear in their dreams the cries of the lost.
That we might see through our fear of each other
A new vision to heal our fatal attraction to aggression.
That those who enjoy the privilege of peace
Might not forget their tormented brothers and sisters.
That the wolf might lie down with the lamb,
That our swords be beaten into ploughshares
And no hurt or harm be done
Anywhere along the holy mountain.
JOHN O’DONOHUE
From the book, Benedictus. https://johnodonohue.com/
Meet Vicky Kyan – Wildly Free Elders Newest Spotlight!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/10/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
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Now You Are Free
As Spring energy here in the Northern hemisphere is starting to flow, I am drawn back to what had me originally creating the Wildly Free Elder website and community during the first lock down of the pandemic.
An inspiration was emerging in me to inspire aging in a more accepting way unique to each individual with no pre-conceived idea of what we are supposed to be like at any certain set age.
Instead to live life fully, and as Jenny says in the video below – “open to that part of you that has been shut down for so long out of necessity. Be conscious of the potential of life and live as fully as you are able to. Be more pro-active – now you are free!”
Here is the re-post from June 4, 2020…..
A FEW WORDS ON AGING
The natural evolution of an embodied human is to change with each year we are here. Not just physically, but within the heart of our emotions and in the deepest energetic recesses of our mind, thinking and creative potential.
For some this is a very conscious process. An unfolding of acceptance, transparency, trust and surrender revealing our life path. Every year brings new opportunities and awareness.
Some accept the societal story and common narrative of aging, or impulsively seek the next “anti-aging” supplement or practice which denies what is a natural process for all living beings.
The continuum of birth to death reveals a pathway uniquely our own. No one else has our challenges, experiences, opportunities and possibilities.
For some this is a short spectrum and filled with challenges that can’t simply be overcome with facing them head on. Acceptance of disabilities, dis-ease and even death are at the forefront during these final embodied years.
Impermanence beckons us from everywhere. We see it in nature, our friends and loved ones, the animals special to us and at every turn of life. Everything ages and dies within the cycles and rhythms of life here on Earth.
What our unique path will be is simply a matter of perception and is revealed in our unfolding life moments. That we will transition in death at some point is inevitable.
Many of us have been blessed with more embodied life moments to dig deep and find our passions buried beneath complacency, fixed identities that do not honor the wild soul inside, and ungrounded fears. Free of the pressures and stresses of youth and mid-life we are invited into the stage of elderhood.
Elder saturated in the experiences, wisdom and innate sense of belonging, woven with an unrelenting sense of humor that surfaces in a multitude of moments during our days no matter what chronological age we are.
Being an Elder is not defined by age, but rather Elders are recognized because they have earned the respect of their community through wisdom and actions or their teachings; through the vibrancy that radiates out from their presence and the unique artistry that only they can bring into the world.
Let us return to acknowledging elders in the fullest sense of the powerful presence they can be and are becoming. Respecting the life artistry that has been necessary to bring them to where they are today.
As we ripen into our aging beauty may we be heard, seen and respected for what we have to offer. May we trust and respect our own becoming with grace, curiosity and surrender.…and a strong dose of humor!
The time is now to free yourself into the wildness of elderhood. To ground who you are and what you have to bring into the very center of your being in spite of the challenges, or better yet because of the challenges!
You have stories to tell, wisdom to share and artistry to impart.
Don’t die now….before you die!
“Finally I have the excuse to be poorly mannered and poorly memoried.”
Jenny Jackson
“I recently read…
“Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman
We all age – it is the normal process of living. But rather than being apprehensive about our aging bodies, let’s celebrate our growing perspective. Rather than worrying about our changing relationships, let’s embrace the opportunity to make new friends with people who share our interests. We must never lose the desire to do the things we truly love, because it is the saying no to life that ages us.
It’s not about aging. It’s about living.”
Filmed in Hermanus, South Africa. by Green Renaissance
Featuring Jenny Jackson.
This video was the first I encountered filmed by Green Renaissance and I placed it at the end of the very first blog post for the Wildly Free Elder website on June 4, 2020. It still makes me smile and is a reminder to live life wildly free!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/23/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
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Share this:
The Peace of Wild Things
“When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in the beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their lights. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and I am free.”
Wendell Berry
At times it feels as if the wild and free has been stripped away. From within me and in our human world on earth.
And then I remember that can only be taken away if we agree to, and participate in, its demise within and without.
A dear friend placed Wendell Berry’s words above on her social media page a few days ago. Words that I had seen and heard before, but that came at just the right time once again. A time when I am indeed heart broken by the impact of events and actions going on in the world and closer to home.
We all know there is violence and boundary disputes in the more than human world. Part of the way of all living beings. Yet there is a difference.
An innate sense of belonging is built into the heron and the wood drake where attention is only drawn to immediate needs of food or mating or simply rest and connection. They inhabit this interconnected habitat by instinct, never questioning it as humans do, and certainly never destroying it.
As we age we have the choice to accept and surrender into the “peace of wild things” – a refuge and sanctuary reminding us where we have come from, and what nurtures our heart and soul.
It is these very moments where our senses celebrate – the sound of a creek flowing over rocks, flight of a hawk gliding on unseen wind currents, spontaneous show of brilliant red on the wing of a cardinal, sound of birdsong in Spring after a night of soothing rain, scent of tree bark while walking a nature trail, textures of earth beneath bare feet, feel of mists settling on upturned face, wind blowing through strands of hair, or the powerful energy of a storm – that we remember to rest in the peace of wild things.
The weaving of elemental inter-being that we are so much a part of. That we are.
Let us not forget this underlying root and core of our existence here. The sanctuary of wild things where we can lay our burdens down and rest for awhile. For if we forget we have indeed lost our untamed freedom to rest in the grace of the world and to love fully with compassion and gratitude.
This is demonstrated so beautifully by Brett Bard in the short film by Green Renaissance below. This happened to come into my inbox this morning as I was getting ready to publish this post. As I followed this man on his walk with his animals, connection to the earth and his pure happiness in his vegetable garden on a day when attention may be captured by war, strife and struggle, I knew that I was to share it with you. I hope it gives you moments of simple peace as it did me…..and a pause for reflection. .
“If people could love each other the way dogs love us, the world would be a different place.” – Brett Bard
“Jul 17, 2019 • Love is a strange and beautiful thing. But we often put provisions on love – we attach it to how others are acting, to circumstances and emotions. But what would the world be like if we stopped looking to get something in return, and just loved unconditionally, for the happiness it brings us all? The most important thing is to learn to give out love, and let it come in. “
To be part of our film making journey : https://www.patreon.com/greenrenaissance
Filmed near Klaarstroom, a small town in Western Cape, South Africa.
Who is Green Renaissance? We are a tiny collective of 2 passionate filmmakers (Michael and Justine). We live off-grid and dedicate our time to making films that we hope will inspire and share ideas.
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Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives
You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/23/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
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Love: Life’s Greatest Gift
Love by its very nature includes everything. It does not just belong to a human relationship. It can be found anywhere, because it is everywhere.
Article By Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee. Reprinted from Gratefulness.Org
All of us want, or need, to be loved. The need for love is one of the most basic human impulses. We may cover this need with patterns of self-protection or images of self-reliance. Or we may openly acknowledge this need to ourself or to others. But it is always present, whether hidden or visible.
Usually, we seek for love in human relationships, project our need onto parents, partners, friends, lovers. Our lack or denial of love often causes wounds that we carry with us. This unmet need haunts us, sometimes driving us into addictions or other self-destructive patterns. Conversely, if our need for love is met, we feel nourished in the depths of our being.
Photo by Maria P/Unsplash
Love calls to us in many different ways. Yet while most people seek for love in the tangle of human relationships, the mystic is drawn deeper under the surface—in Rumi’s words, “return to the root of the root of your own being.” And here we begin to discover one of life’s greatest secrets: how love is at the source of all that exists, is the source of all that exists.
Love is not just a feeling between people, but a substance, an energy, a divine spark that is present within everything. And it is this deepest essence—this substance of love—that we need to nourish us.
Love speaks to our soul and to our body. Love includes all the senses—taste and touch, smell, sight and sound. Love by its very nature includes everything. It does not just belong to a human relationship. It can be found anywhere, because it is everywhere.
The mystic uncovers the simple secret that in truth love flows through all that exists—sweet, tender, aching, knowing, as well as dark and passionate. And as this primal energy, this greatest power, awakens within us, within our heart, our soul, and even within the cells of our body, it draws us deeper into its own mystery. Love draws us back to love.
And here we discover the oneness of love—that the source and answer to our primal need is not separate from us, but part of our own essential nature, our own true being. Again, to quote Rumi:
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
The mystical truth of the oneness of love is something both simple and essential: the real nature of the love that we all seek is not other than us. I remember my first direct experience of this love. I was in my late 20s when one afternoon while I was in meditation, I felt what I can only describe as butterfly wings touching the edge of my heart. And in that instant my whole being and body were filled with a love I had hardly known existed. Every cell of my body was loved, tenderly, gently, and completely. Love was present in all of me. And this love came from within me, from my own heart. There was no other.
Learning to love is learning to live, to become part of the great love affair that is life.
Love is life’s greatest gift. We seek for love, and yet it is all around and within us. It belongs to the oneness of life, to every dewdrop on every leaf, to the spider spinning its web, the child looking at the stars. If we open our senses and open our hearts, we can feel its presence.
Love is life speaking to us of its real mystery. And in that conversation so many things can happen, so many miracles can be born, the small unsuspecting miracles that we often do not notice—like momentary sunlight from behind a cloud, a flower where a seed unexpectedly sprouted, a smile from a stranger.
Despite all of its distortions, pain, and suffering, this world belongs to love, just as each of us belongs to love. And just to know that we are part of this love is enough.
Photo by Tamas Tuzes/Unsplash
Learning to love is learning to live, to become part of the great love affair that is life. And just as love is life’s gift, so is love the one true gift we each have to give. I was brought up in a family where love was unknown, where nothing real was given. And so I have come to appreciate this simple gift and how precious it is. Love is all we really have to give, and love is free, even if it costs blood and a broken heart.
Sadly, we live in a culture where so much is distorted, caught in the shadowlands of ego and greed. We are fed endless desires, manipulated by advertising and the media, no longer knowing what to trust. We have almost forgotten that life is sacred.
At such a time it is especially important to return to what is essential and true, what cannot be bought or sold. Simple acts of loving kindness, an open heart that listens, hands that care—with a friend, a stranger, with someone in need.
These are the true currencies of our shared humanity, which easily break through barriers and remind us of a unity deeper than our surface divisions. In our true nature we are not consumers but lovers, and life is not about economic prosperity or getting more stuff, but is a love affair waiting to be lived.
The whole of creation is a continual outpouring of love, of lover and beloved needing each other, meeting each other, merging with each other.
And at this time it is especially important to give the gift of love back to the earth, the same earth that we are poisoning and polluting. Return love with simple acts: planting some herbs with care and attention; walking, our feet touching the ground with love every step; seeing spring blossoms, aware of her beauty.
The earth is so generous, she has given us life and yet we desecrate her, attack her fragile web. It is time to fall in love again with the earth, to remember that she is sacred and help in her healing, to listen to her and love her.
And what is revealed within the heart of the lover, of the one who has given himself or herself to love, is the great secret of creation: that love is always present. Love is present within our own heart, within every breath, within every cell of our body and the whole of creation.
The whole of creation is a continual outpouring of love, of lover and beloved needing each other, meeting each other, merging with each other. The great mystery is then not that this love is always present, but that it appears hidden from us, that we have forgotten how we are made of love. That we are love seeking love.
And life’s greatest gift is love waiting to be lived.
Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, Ph.D., is a Sufi teacher and author. He has written a series of books giving a detailed exploration of the stages of spiritual and psychological transformation experienced on the Sufi path, with a particular focus on the use of dreamwork as inner guidance on the journey. Since 2000 the focus of his writing and teaching has been on spiritual ecology, the need for a spiritual response to our present ecological crisis (see Spiritual Ecology: The Cry of the Earth). His most recent book is Seasons of the Sacred: Reconnecting to the Wisdom within Nature and the Soul.
This article is syndicated from the Golden Sufi Center and was originally published in Common Ground.
We are grateful for this article being brought to our attention on Valentine’s Day through the organization Gratefulness.org. in recognition of the importance and power of placing our attention on the energy of love available to us in every day and every moment.
If you don’t want to miss future posts simply sign up for the blog here: http://atomic-temporary-171801894.wpcomstaging.com/blog/
Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives
You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: http://atomic-temporary-171801894.wpcomstaging.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/18/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder and Gratefulness.org
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Emotion Is Energy In Motion
Artist Joe Cartwright
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom ..“
~ Anais Nin ~
We are taught by our respective cultures, and often our family of origin, not to fall apart. For both women and men. If we are fortunate we are allowed to do so as a child growing up.
We are told that our very survival depends on holding it all together, protecting our hearts and not showing the fullness of who we are. But what if that is not true at all?
Yes, there are situations and life challenges that require a certain degree of focused competency in the moment which may mean our emotions – fear, anger, upset – are kept at bay.
But what if those very emotions did not render us incapable, weak or incompetent. But instead powered our focus in whatever life challenge (or joy) we were facing, and at the same time deepening our relationships and connection through vulnerability and transparency.
Suppressing emotion – energy in motion – isolates us and can create imbalance and dis-ease.
I hadn’t connected with her for years, but as we faced each other on the Zoom screen – Australia to N. Carolina – and shared what it was like to be in “elderhood” we ended up laughing at the serendipity that plays across our lives now.
We laughingly agreed that something must have been timed to go off deep inside when we reached a certain age that said – OK, NOW you can say anything you want, act and dress wild and crazy, show emotions fully – at times perhaps “inappropriately” – and not care at all what others think or say about you.
What freedom to simply be present to life, not as an actor on stage or disguised as someone you are not, adhering to the cultural dilemma of inauthentic being. Instead simply placing attention on who we are becoming in any given moment in full acceptance with compassion. Emotions weaving a momentary flowing masterpiece – for that is the life blood of energy in motion.
The first time I watched this transparent, sensitively filmed interview with Antoinette Pienaar by Green Renaissance I was up against what felt like major blocks in my heart and mind – towards my own creativity and the gifts I have to offer.
In the moment she “gave permission” to fall apart, I broke down weeping. With the awareness of “holding it together” for so much of my life, it felt like a giant wave washing through to free up those bonds of captivity that I had unconsciously put in place long ago.
Now what is possible? Blossoming…..
Thank you Antoinette Pienaar and Green Renaissance for such beautifully sensitive filming with depth!
But we can learn to soften our hearts, recognizing that we don’t need the armour it thought it needed to keep it safe. You have the choice to free yourself of the emotional burdens you are holding onto. By opening your heart, you help yourself, others and the world to be a more loving place. Let go, choose love, and let your spirit soar.”
Filmed in Theefontein, South Africa. by Green Renaissance“. Consider funding them through Patreon!
Featuring Antoinette Pienaar https://kruiekraaikoning.co.za
*For those who wish to know more about Antoinette’s teacher Om Johannes at Treefontein see the video below:
“Oom (uncle) Johannes is known by many names: herb doctor, healer, story teller, and teacher. Although he is already 95 years old, he still dedicates his time and energy to walking the lands near his home in search of healing herbs. For Johannes, nature is medicine to the soul and can be used in many ways to aid healing.””
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You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/10/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
OFFERINGS ON WILDLY FREE ELDER
The Myth of Perfection
Photo credit: David Hofman Unsplash / Post: Diana Turner-Forte
Rehearse. Rehearse. Rehearse is the refrain of a dancer or anyone in the performing arts. The work of polishing pieces for stage seems endless and sometimes futile. Bringing together a group of people from different backgrounds, varying skill levels, and expecting them to work in sync 100% of the time for a flawless production holds all the ingredients of a failed project. I mean anything could happen: someone could slip or pull a muscle or misstep and nearly fall. And that’s just a fraction of what could happen.
Even with everyone committed to the same goal—getting the product to the stage—a perfect performance rarely happened. In my experience the plethora of notes, reminders, more rehearsals between performances, and just before the final performance left everyone wondering if we would ever get it right.
Is this not a metaphor for life? It’s the constant, conscientious efforts at improving relationships, refining situations, adjusting behaviors and attitudes to relate in meaningful ways with the environment and everything around us. With each interaction, like a rehearsal we seek to grow and improve our own lives as well as the lives of others. American Dancer, Teacher, Choreographer of modern dance, Martha Graham (1894-1991) had this to say about practice:
“Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.”
For a Type A personality and recovering perfectionist, perfection is something I’ve struggled to overcome. Learning to make the proper adjustments to behave and act differently relieved my near-constant state of tension and emotional fatigue. Sometimes it seemed that instead of fully living I spent more time stumbling into black holes of financial distress, unhealthy relationships, and an incessant underlying frustration and anger. I confronted these negative perceptions by committing to personal inner work. The energy that fortified my competitive edge was freed up for compassion, authentic love, and peacemaking.
The transformation required a shift in mindset (literally) instead of feeling as if I was always falling down, being attacked, or personally challenged. I began to view my encounters with people and situations as potential miracles. I could do this regularly if I attuned to the words of Albert Einstein:
“There are only two ways to live. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
Eventually out of sheer exhaustion I opted for the latter. The perfectionist persona had to go. Living with the terror of failure, frozen into a paralysis of inaction created such imbalances in my body, mind, and spirit that I knew I had to change. Living out of alignment with the soul has detrimental affects on the psyche and body. It took a while for me to realize and admit that I was the cause and prime player in my own unhappiness. While the spark of insight seemed like it came in a flash from nowhere; accepting responsibility for adjusting habits and attitudes took some work, deep inner work.
And as you might guess, the work was like turning around an ocean liner on a stormy sea—slow, tedious, and relentless. But that wasn’t the half of it, the healing involved the mind in re-imagining an alternative outcome, something I read about years earlier but failed to heed. I couldn’t quite grasp the benefits of such efforts until I opened up to exploring and experimenting with the creative process.
I first had to delete the word perfection from my vocabulary. Perhaps the better word for realigning myself with spirit is excellence. Maybe excellence was what I was striving to attain all along. Personal excellence also invites us into ongoing relationships in which we express the best of who we are. There is nothing to prove.
How did I re-align myself and create different outcomes in my life? I engaged in a three-prong process:
- Recognize that I might be the problem and do a personal inventory of my behaviors (actions words, and deeds).
- Re-imagine a different conclusion. For example, let’s say you are in the midst of a disagreement that is getting progressively worse. You envision a healthier outcome. Sometimes this is hard to do in the moment. However, you can do it later. In your mind retrieve the scene and rewrite with a more harmonious conclusion. You need to use your mind and emotions for the full impact. This takes practice!
- Pray.
If you struggle with overcoming perfection or remaking your days into miracles I share with you part of this blessing for presence from John O’Donohue. May it serve as inspiration.
“May you awaken to the mystery of being here
And enter the quiet immensity of your presence.
May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon.
May you respond to the call of your gift
And find the courage to follow its path.”
Post by Diana Turner-Forte
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You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/4/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
Coaching & Editing for Transformative and Visionary Writers
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
PHOTO: Patch Adams, M.D.
Many long years ago when I was a Neurosurgical Assistant at Scripps Clinic in La Jolla, CA I was privileged to attend a conference which focused on laughter and play. And of course that meant a reminder to start each day with a smile which was often challenging as we consistently dealt with life threatening diagnoses.
I remember coming back from that conference, which happened to take place onboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California, with the awareness of how serious everyone was most all the time. Not just at the Clinic, but in everyday life!
I was well aware of the work that now 75-year-old Patch Adams, M.D. with his red clown nose has done, and is still doing, who’s message for health care providers has been “lighten the mood and you will lighten the struggle”. And Norman Cousins (Cancer Laughter Cure). had done on laughter and the simple act of smiling to raise endorphin levels, decrease pain, and augment healing even from a cancer diagnosis he was given.
Yet, it appeared that I needed a reminder to add it to the daily dose of patient care upon my return, in addition to the Hug Therapist button I wore on my lab coat every day. After five days of wearing a clown nose, learning how to juggle with marshmallows, witnessing comedians come up with material to make us smile and laugh, and even taking a class on “Laughter and Play in the Death & Dying Process” I was well armed to come back and “lighten things up”.
Coming from a community where smiling, humor and laughter was valued and practiced every single day of the conference to the impact of seriousness at the Clinic and the outside world was a tad challenging. It took some time to integrate.
Joke books were placed in exam rooms for patient reading material and I was smiling more as I cared for patients and connected with staff . Did it make a difference? I will let you create a story about what happened. (besides the joke books disappearing from the exam rooms!)
And it all begins with a smile. A simple smile given and received.
Below are 5 reasons to smile taken from a post entitled “Smile. Laugh. Be Joyful” on Wonderfully Human by Diana Turner-Forte:
“There are many reasons to smile, but I’ll just focus on five benefits for this post.
- Ripple Effect: Have you ever noticed how contagious smiling can be? You walk into a room where people are talking their traumas and then someone shows up with a a baby picture and the entire conversation shifts to a higher frequency. The happy story pivots everything to a different level. Its as if the whole room brightens. It turns out that the expression of the face with the edges of the lips turned upward releases little hormones in the brain that make you happy.
- Affects Blood Pressure: We all know that stress raises blood pressure. Apparently smiling, lowers blood pressure by promoting healthy circulation and the uptake of breath from a good laugh “increases oxygen and supports heart health.”
- Eases Pain: Another insight is that smiling and laughter reduce pain, both physical and emotional. The way that happens is that relaxing those facial muscles by smiling releases endorphins which are receptors in the brain that takes your mind off what is ailing you, temporarily. And sometimes that is just enough to get you through a rough spot. Have you heard of Dr. Patch Adams, an American physician who inspired others running around with a red circle on his nose? Here’s one of his insights on the power of laughter, “People crave laughter as if it were an amino acid.” Let’s face it you can’t frown and smile at the same time. Go ahead, try it!
- Immune Booster: While I don’t understand all the data validating that laughing and smiling supports the immune system, it is worth noting that studies show that “a combination of smiling, laughing, and positive thoughts trigger the brain to release neuroreceptors that fight off illness.” That in itself would be enough to keep me smiling for awhile.
- Facilitates Healthy Relationships: This benefit may be the most important as we need others to grow and live together harmoniously. This refers back to the first benefit that smiling people are contagious and attract others just like them. Who doesn’t want to be around happy people, not that we can maintain that state all the time, but life is certainly more enjoyable around folks who are light-hearted and cheerful.”
Diana adds:
“And besides, when you smile you are beautiful. If you are not excited about wanting to smile every chance you get, I’ve added this clip by Bobby McFerrin. Snap your fingers, pat your legs, clap your hands, get up and dance, and SMILE!”
Bet you can’t keep from smiling and moving!! Maybe even acting silly…..NOW how do you feel?
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Please note that all blog posts can be seen on the HOME page if you scroll down to the bottom for Archives
You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 1/30/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
Coaching & Editing for Transformative and Visionary Writers
Your Life Breathing
Having grown up only a few blocks from the Pacific ocean, and now living in the mountains of N. Carolina, I sometimes yearn for the salt tinged air, sound of seagulls and surf, crunch of sand sifting through my toes as I walk the beach, and the sensual feeling of the rhythm of waves washing through me as a reminder of the ebb and flow of our own lives.
What I have learned, and keep learning – it often takes repetition! – is that the moments at any stage of life are to be taken one step at a time. Being mindful of the words and thoughts we repeat to ourselves, that often squeeze the joy of simply being into the contracted small containers of judgement – of ourselves and others – worry, anxiety and fear.
It seems easy to go there these days.
This morning I had to give myself a pep talk changing the thoughts and words that relentlessly try to shrink my joy in life and overall well being into life giving possibility. In vast appreciation for this stage I am inhabiting and for all those I have touched….and who have touched me. For the natural world and all I have to be grateful for.
More than enough.
It is with all of this flowing through that I came across a blog post written in Breathing Spaces at the end of 2018 and am now sharing with you. The writing muse had left me for a period of time when I wrote this. In taking myself to the Sonoma coast, while living in N. California, the elements and sensations collaborated to bring me back home to simply being and trusting.
The power of words – their energy and their contextual roots – reaching deeply into human psyche. Unraveling stories – coming alive to be lived now, yet straying into future and past.
How tightly we hold on to them, until they can only gasp for breath begging to be set free. Attempting to create meaning and security when all of a sudden they fly away and become something else entirely – casting into the depths, un-prying fingers and minds from around them.
To creation of worlds and words and feelings and sensations we have never experienced before, like a virgin opening to voluptuous sensual connection and animate life.
Come now, let me tell you a story that has never been told, so free of the contraction and constraints of our daily lived grind of sameness. Let us embark, set sail, like a first step without fear – diving deeply into the unknown beyond what we know
….. or think we know.
Listen to the passions spoken so clearly Sourced by your body, heart and soul, flowing into the peaks and valleys of life where everything is “enough” – including yourself.
Trust the knowing. Then letting go of even that in a free fall where the landing place reveals itself only in the now and now and now.
Be still for this is your life breathing….
**This piece was written for Breathing Spaces on 12/25/18 in celebration of the writing muses coming actively back into my life once again after 2 years away (most probably on some exotic coastal island enjoying themselves!). Written on the Sonoma Coast of Northern California, it felt as if time stood still while the words flowed without any thought or struggle, blowing over the sand and sea on a gorgeous Christmas day…..Gaye Abbott, 1/6/19
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You can find ALL of the 31-Days of Joy & Laughter Project posts in the archives here: https://wildlyfreeelder.wordpress.com/2021/12/
Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 1/23/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
WILDLY FREE ELDER 