The Artistry of Aging
Improvisation by its very nature is spontaneous creation in the moment. Taking advantage of a situation or interaction that may be normal or mundane and embellishing within it.
A great example of that happened in the grocery store today when a woman walked up in line behind me and I placed the small divider between our orders. She said thank you and I of course said you are welcome.
Then she thought I said something else to her and when I said no I did not I happened to glance up at a image of Mickey and Minnie Mouse on the top of a store display. This is where the improv was born.
I told her that it was actually Mickey and Minnie that were speaking and she followed by saying “with a very high squeaky voice”. Then it moved on to me saying she was probably of an age where she remembered the Mickey Mouse Club show. And guess what she did?
Broke out in the Mickey Mouse Club song and I joined her right there in line at the grocery store. We were laughing throughout it and started joking back and forth about two “old ladies” being kicked out of the store for causing a ruckus in line.
For those of you who are too young, or don’t know what the heck I am talking about, click on the video below and sing along!,
This small simple exchange brought humor, connection and brightness into our day during a usually mundane task. Who knows what it brought the man in front of me or the cashier, but I did see a small smile break out on his face.
What other opportunities show up every single day that we may overlook or miss completely because our mind is too busy plotting what our next task will be. I know I miss them all the time!
How does one tap into improvisational humor?
I would say that life is full of opportunities every single day in the cracks and crevices of interaction. Even if you are alone. Simply trusting what is arising within the moment and not holding back is a key. However, one underlying characteristic you must possess is that you don’t mind at all being silly, “out of step”, different from the mainstream around you, and most probably looked at by others in the vicinity.
In other words simply being uniquely you in any given moment. You may be surprised what expression is born when you just let go and play with others. There is a tendency for it to effect others around you in a positive way so be prepared to attract attention.
Now for those who don’t “approve” of your spontaneous humor or how you are acting….simply smile. They may be missing out on passing along positive energy, humor and spontaneous connection, but one thing is for certain you aren’t!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 5/5/22. Please feel free to share this post!
Image by National Audubon Society
“Being brave said the firefighter, the last of the boys mentors, doesn’t mean never being afraid. There’s no such thing as never being scared. Being brave means knowing your fear, even being friends with your fear. You want it to tell you when to push past it and go on ahead, when to hold its hand and walk side by side, or when you are better off following, walking in its footsteps.”
Excerpted from “A House Among the Trees” by Julia Glass
They were walking slowly with poles in hand, the husband watching that his wife could navigate the hill. Seeing their slow and somewhat shaky pace on a very narrow trail I cut across the grassy slope, which was much steeper, so that I could be ahead of them and then went on my way leaving them behind.
A bit later they were heading towards me on the trail and I was able to see more clearly the shirt that the woman wore which said in big bold letters “JUST DO IT!”. Saying good afternoon I inquired about the shirt by asking “do what?” and in her strained voice she said “exercise”. I nodded my assent with a smile and went on my way.
Reflecting on this very brief interaction I realized that it was most likely vitally important that she do the exercise for reasons that were important to her, essential to keeping mobile and increasing strength and endurance in the face of whatever her health challenge was.
Often going days or weeks without considering how fortunate I am to have mobility, so I could take that shortcut across the steeper part of the grassy slope, it struck me. I was in “doing it” mode.
Thoughts of whom I might meet on the trail next, or what my agenda was for the day filtered through as I walked along the familiar route. Yes, I appreciated natures Spring beauty yet I wasn’t being fully with it in those moments.
As we age we experience physical set backs and limitations. Most of us have experienced this by now. For some it is a major challenge that completely disrupts everyday life, and for others something to accept, let go into, and then explore possibility.
My personal fear is not “death” but instead having to be taken care of because of physical or mental limitations. Having independence somehow curtailed.
Do I know that fear? Can I make friends with it?
Yet the times I have been “limited” because of injury or illness have been my greatest teachers. Certainly not comfortable in many ways and often times scary, but spaces for learning, increased awareness and emerging possibility.
I ask the question now of myself and you the reader. What if “just do it” became “just be it”? A devotion to, and acceptance of, being fully present in as many of our life moments as possible.
By fully inhabiting the body and the experiences we have been given..
I am well aware that the “me” I have depended on waking up to every morning may one day be replaced – like an overnight abduction – of what I have always been.
If we are lucky enough to be able to explore the territory of sliding from “doing” to “being” within a simpler life in our elder years it can become a regular practice of awareness in the everyday moments of life. Try on the simple exercise below:
Take a look at the hummingbird with the flowers at the top of this page. Just Do It.
What did you see? How would you describe the image to someone else?
Now BE the hummingbird and flowers as you gaze at them. BREATHE….
Did you have a different experience?
Did you become the hummingbird with wings whirring in figure eights 80 times per second, heart beating at over 1200 beats per minute?
Could you taste the sweet nectar deep into the throat of the flower?
Were you aware of the natural instinct that attracted you to that particular flower?
Did you melt into the vibrancy of the colors?
Where are you innately guided next?
Patterned mind of “doing” is found in what seems like an endless series of actions or tasks to be taken. Is it possible to interrupt that cultural and survival narrative and land in the spaciousness of simply being?
If we are fortunate to have the freedom to choose, the answer is yes….
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 4/29/22. Please feel free to share this post!
The vibrant energy of the pink blossoms continue to stop me in my tracks every time I come or go from my small home sanctuary. For this magnificent cherry tree in the image above is right outside the front door to my house.
This morning those 100’s of blossoms made me stop for more intimate moments of connection. To simply fall in love with the beauty of this light filled Spring day and my place in it. It was impossible to have an agenda even though I was on my way to a close by Farmer’s Market.
Instead it felt as if I was being made love to. In return I was loving with all of my being.
If I would have walked by without paying attention this experience would have been missed. The shift from thinking about where I was going….to being intimately present and embraced in the moment by this grand nature artistry shifted my entire day.
The tree wisdom I received in that moment taught me to connect with the beauty of the world around me within a space of gratefulness, curiosity and .discovery.
What does it feel like to “love something with your whole body”?
Nature is a perfect partner to learn with and from. This week it might be fun to explore what you can “befriend and court” and trust what happens. Tell the story to others….and even share it here if you are so moved!
Below is a practice that may teach you about how to “love with your whole body” with nature as the muse.
By Laura Loescher
“What started as a “hobby” for my own healing and resiliency turned into something that could soothe and inspire others. It has connected me so much more deeply with the natural world and with my sense of place. I am so in love with this planet, more than ever before, as I get to know the names of what’s growing all around me. I walk through the world seeing color and shape and possibility everywhere.
*NOTE: Check out Andy Goldsworthy for some amazing earth art!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 4/22/22. Please feel free to share this post!
Birthing & Beauty of Spring, Western N. Carolina
“Help me to be less fearful of the measure of time, and more fully alive in the time that simply is. Help me to live time, not just to simply use it; to breathe it in, and return it in acts of love and presence.“
Avis Crowe
Standing here on the hill in complete stillness, listening to the songbirds compose a spontaneous symphony in this one particular moment in time that is mine. Because I choose it to soothe my soul. To remind me that there is no other moment than now.
How often we say, “there is not enough time”. What does that mean to you?
I sometimes feel these days that I am not “keeping busy enough”. That there is something else I need to add into my day to make certain I am productive and not wasting time.
But how can we waste time when our constant refrain is “not enough time.?”
Until we die? For the people we care about? To keep the house clean? To say I love and cherish you?
As elders, or at any age, we realize that we are mortal. That someday, sooner or later, we shall shed our physical body and no longer be here in that form. And then what will the refrain be?
Why not decide to be more fully alive now in the time that simply is!
It is a choice you know. To fill it with every pressing or self created obligation or dive head first into the bottomless pool of moments…..one after another filled with beauty and the challenges and joys of life unfolding.
In these moments it was as if everything not immediately in the small perimeter of where I sat faded away. The only “time” that existed was now and nothing else mattered. It was like those moments when you find yourself gazing into the face of a beloved. If I was to measure it in human time it was probably only 10 minutes or so, but it felt timeless.
A spaciousness of breath and presence in which I was embraced.
Living in time that simply is when….
There will come a time when we cannot fill our lungs with sweet Spring air.
Instead of being fearful of the measure of time I would rather walk into the woods and lay myself down on the earth feeling the heartbeat that mirrors my own, where I live simply with time and embrace now….
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 4/15/22. Please feel free to share this post!
Photo: Sunrise on the Isle of Skye, Scotland
“Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life.”
Maya Angelou
The Zoom conversation I was having with my dear friend in Scotland started out, as usual, with a depth of sharing that left us both telling stories.
Stories of moments where we received what some call a “download” and others may call inner guidance, intuition, or a “gut feeling”. Something better not to be ignored.
It all seemed to embrace acceptance, letting go, trust, choice and most definitely discovery. As I age it seems that these moments are coming more often.
.A choice to let go of “the way I have always been” to explore new territory.
The conversation? It started off with my telling my Scottish friend about the moment I realized I no longer was interested in being a part of the type of ecstatic dance gatherings I had been involved in for over 20 years and had derived incredible pleasure from.
What had happened? The moment of acceptance arrived and then directly into a space of letting go. Perhaps there will be times I will be drawn back again to join these celebrations of movement, but for now there is something else emerging that is part of the discovery process. I trust that unfolding and open my heart to it.
For my friend, he found himself in a once a year commitment to speak to Masters students at the University of Edinburgh for two hours about a particular topic. He noticed some resistance preparing for it and then when on stage, and after 2 of the 40 slides he had prepared, he stopped the slides knowing that this was not the way he wanted to be.
In that moment an entire space opened up for him to trust the guidance (download) he was receiving. He started posing questions and involving the students in the experience of exploration and discovery of how this focus was relevant to them.
You might guess that for him it was more in alignment with who he has become, and for the students a treat to be connected with the “man in front of the room” in a more personal way.
Life moments unfolding through acceptance, letting go and certainly discovery. A fluid way to be present in these elder years of life.
Do you sometimes become “lost in the flood” of a “weary mind” in a complex world that constantly grabs for attention?
SONG : ‘Lost In The Flood’ by SIIGA from the studio album ‘Gemini Rising’ Shot by Jim Hope Featuring Kate Macleod (The Hebridean Mermaid)
A special thank you to Bob for sharing this video with me!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 4/8/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
Scientists tell us that the eye of a storm is the calmest place, that includes tornadoes and hurricanes. Given the utter destruction and chaos caused by severe weather it’s hard to imagine that there is motionlessness, as well. Could that be the same for human beings?
Despite what the outer environment might look like, within each of us there is calm place, “that passes all understanding,” that we can access. And from that place, our centers—perhaps of the Cosmos—we can function with grace and love. Rumi said:
“Whatever circles comes from the center.”
Rumi
That makes living more of a spiral rather than a hierarchy. Circling encompasses a vastness and spaciousness beyond comprehension. A circle includes everyone and everything, where everybody is seen. Our imagination must step way outside the box to envision such greatness and fulfill such magnanimity.
Widening Circles by Rainer Maria Rilke translated by Joanna Macy I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world. I may not complete this last one but I give myself to it. I circle around God, around the primordial tower. I've been circling for thousands of years and I still don't know: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?
As a process of personal and spiritual growth, individuation engages the spirit or should I say, the soul moves the personality to lean into the collective consciousness without losing oneself. It’s a holy endeavor requiring silence, contemplation, and study; a never-ending cycle of deaths and rebirths that often challenge the individual to dig deeper into herself with the goal to acquire more wisdom, faith, and hope. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said:
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
It’s that place of love, reverence, and revelation that Dr. David R. Hawkins established on The Map of Consciousness that gets us vibrating at 500. Imagine vibrating at that level day in and day out. Imagine that level of calm and inner authority reverberating through your body, not easily challenged by the vicissitudes of environmental chaos, emotional upheavals, and overreactions to outer stimuli and divisiveness.
During the past few weeks, I’ve challenged myself to ask questions and engage in a process of Visio Divina through a study of Mary Magdalene. I wouldn’t be mentioning this except for the simplicity of the activity and at the same time the depth of inquiry; the ensouling that occurred as the result of not being in my head. It’s an ancient embodiment practice where feelings and inspiration rise to the surface.
If you are unfamiliar with Visio Divina, “divine seeing” opens our hearts to allow God to speak. What also happens is the ripple effect as life shows itself differently, because, well you are transformed after the experience and can choose to explore further or just be, without judgment. For my experience I used the paintings of artist, Sue Ellen Parkinson,
“I experience the creative process as a form of prayer. It is my sanest response to the world. It keeps me whole and connects me to mystery.“
Sue Ellen Parkinson
http://www.sueellenparkinson.com
The process of Visio Divina is relatively easy. Select an image that resonates with you and simply study it: the colors that stand out, the shapes, any other items in the painting that attracts your attention, note words that pop up in your imagination. You engage the process further by asking questions: “What am I to do with this information? How can I fully live with what I am hearing?” Then with pen and paper, free write without evaluating. Keep your pen moving for up to 10 minutes.
“As the deer longs for the waterbrook, so yearns my soul for you, O God.”
Psalm 42
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/24/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to Diana Turner-Forte
(Posted in Celebrate What’s Right With The World, by Dewitt Jones)
When I was a kid, I loved drawing the skeletons of trees, having discovered the grace of bare branches and trunks. They take no wrong turns. One little branch simply leads to the next, yet a beautiful pattern emerges. Each tree’s shape is unique yet consistent in how it forms. Even as a small child, I could mimic patterns of trees with a simple black pen, and watch growth emerge into character. I couldn’t predict or plan my tree drawings, but I didn’t need to. It felt like magic. It still does. It mirrors how we all grow as people.
Tree character shows best in winter, when the camouflage of leaves has fallen away. All that remains is what’s strong enough to withstand hard weather, and that core strength is beautiful. Locally, oaks reveal themselves most. They’re closest to what I instinctively drew as a child.
In my own growth, I discovered fractals and chaos theory while attaining a mathematics degree. Fractals are exactly what I’d noticed and drawn as a child: irregularities within irregularities, from which order emerges. Chaos theory explores a related coalescence, viewing chaos as infinitely complex order, where tiny changes in initial conditions produce vast differences in outcome. Together, they’re a description of nature’s wondrous ways, artistic and mathematical, even spiritual. They explain my childhood drawings and my love of winter oaks.
Time has illuminated for me how that applies to us too, in our weathered soul growth. I understand now that the intelligence of trees—brilliance needing no mind—is the intelligence of growth in general. Growth’s natural insistence is deeper than we are, even as it expresses itself through our compelling instinct to keep growing despite everything. All of life expresses growth’s timeless drive.
No accident that the most majestic oaks have withstood decades or even centuries of storms. The prevailing winds are visible in the jagged arcs of their unique branches. So is their relationship to other oaks around them, shaped differently by the same storms. It’s evident which trees were able to withstand old fierce weather, and which now feed the soil for others after their strength finally faded.
We too have to age to see into aging’s beauty; how roughness eventually becomes character. We have to live long enough to see our scars birth new growth. That we can and must do such growth feels ever more truthful to me, as storms of all forms intensify in our current era.
What tiny differences in our initial conditions will create vastly different outcomes for us, within the order of chaos? An essential one is outlook, and I’ve seen even in my toughest growth how gratitude and celebration change outcomes in relationships, work, even healing from illness or emotional injury. Gratitude is a gritty practical path, within our best and most difficult days.
So I think I’ll go back to drawing trees. I finally understand that my childhood scribbles were a drawing of our shared path forward. Together we’re a grove, an ecosystem, another expression of the fractals of oaks.
Eric Alan is an author, photographer, and workshop leader who has contributed to the Celebrate project since 2011. His forthcoming book Grateful by Nature will be released in May, 2022. His previous books include Wild Grace: Nature as a Spiritual Path, and Grace and Tranquility. More information at www.natureofgratitude.com
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/17/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
“We become the peace that the world needs.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Feeling feet kissing the earth walking the small park path, a hawks cry took my attention high up to the top of a barren tree. Like an art piece with smooth bark in varied configurations and a lone hawk sitting atop surveying her territory.
A rain storm yesterday left earth smells wafting through the air. creatures scurrying on the ground and up trees, sound of water running in the creek that traverses the park, and sun warming face. In spite of this park being located right in the middle of a small southern city downtown, the sounds of cars from above faded as nature sounds permeated my being.
All I could feel in those moments in time was peace. And an intense gratefulness for mindfulness during a time of war – not just in the Ukraine – but in many other areas of the world. There has always been human war and destruction of some kind…. senseless as it is.
How do we have a peaceful heart and transfer that to others in our every day vastly interconnected life where grief, tears and sorrow are shared….. even though we may be on the other side of the planet from each other ?
We could be the person or family running for their life to get to safety of some sort with bombs bursting around us, or living where severe weather patterns from climate change threaten our security of home sanctuary, or economic/political/racial tensions impacting our livelihood, communities and families.
Where can we turn for some peace of mind….when everything seems to be disintegrating around us?
How do we not become paralyzed by what is happening around us….and at times to us?
I am aware that each of us will find our own way of being with all of this. It feels vitally important to not judge others for the way they find some peace of mind in this unsettling time on the earth. Where information grabs for our attention in every moment that we allow it.
We all seek the medicine of a free heart and peace of mind. How best can we embrace that together?
“We become the peace that the world needs.” Thich Nhat Hanh
A Mighty Purpose
“In this video, Bronwen Lankers-Byrne inspires us to stand up for that which we hold sacred. She reminds us that our singular voice matters, urging that, “Each time one person speaks out against injustice, they create a tiny ripple of change. And when many different ripples join together, they form a current which our leaders cannot ignore.” Green Renaissance
As the fever of day calms towards twilight
May all that is strained in us come to ease.
We pray for all who suffered violence today,
May an unexpected serenity surprise them.
For those who risk their lives each day for peace,
May their hearts glimpse providence at the heart of history.
That those who make riches from violence and war
Might hear in their dreams the cries of the lost.
That we might see through our fear of each other
A new vision to heal our fatal attraction to aggression.
That those who enjoy the privilege of peace
Might not forget their tormented brothers and sisters.
That the wolf might lie down with the lamb,
That our swords be beaten into ploughshares
And no hurt or harm be done
Anywhere along the holy mountain.
JOHN O’DONOHUE
From the book, Benedictus. https://johnodonohue.com/
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 3/10/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder
As Spring energy here in the Northern hemisphere is starting to flow, I am drawn back to what had me originally creating the Wildly Free Elder website and community during the first lock down of the pandemic.
An inspiration was emerging in me to inspire aging in a more accepting way unique to each individual with no pre-conceived idea of what we are supposed to be like at any certain set age.
Instead to live life fully, and as Jenny says in the video below – “open to that part of you that has been shut down for so long out of necessity. Be conscious of the potential of life and live as fully as you are able to. Be more pro-active – now you are free!”
Here is the re-post from June 4, 2020…..
The natural evolution of an embodied human is to change with each year we are here. Not just physically, but within the heart of our emotions and in the deepest energetic recesses of our mind, thinking and creative potential.
For some this is a very conscious process. An unfolding of acceptance, transparency, trust and surrender revealing our life path. Every year brings new opportunities and awareness.
Some accept the societal story and common narrative of aging, or impulsively seek the next “anti-aging” supplement or practice which denies what is a natural process for all living beings.
The continuum of birth to death reveals a pathway uniquely our own. No one else has our challenges, experiences, opportunities and possibilities.
For some this is a short spectrum and filled with challenges that can’t simply be overcome with facing them head on. Acceptance of disabilities, dis-ease and even death are at the forefront during these final embodied years.
Impermanence beckons us from everywhere. We see it in nature, our friends and loved ones, the animals special to us and at every turn of life. Everything ages and dies within the cycles and rhythms of life here on Earth.
What our unique path will be is simply a matter of perception and is revealed in our unfolding life moments. That we will transition in death at some point is inevitable.
Many of us have been blessed with more embodied life moments to dig deep and find our passions buried beneath complacency, fixed identities that do not honor the wild soul inside, and ungrounded fears. Free of the pressures and stresses of youth and mid-life we are invited into the stage of elderhood.
Elder saturated in the experiences, wisdom and innate sense of belonging, woven with an unrelenting sense of humor that surfaces in a multitude of moments during our days no matter what chronological age we are.
Being an Elder is not defined by age, but rather Elders are recognized because they have earned the respect of their community through wisdom and actions or their teachings; through the vibrancy that radiates out from their presence and the unique artistry that only they can bring into the world.
Let us return to acknowledging elders in the fullest sense of the powerful presence they can be and are becoming. Respecting the life artistry that has been necessary to bring them to where they are today.
As we ripen into our aging beauty may we be heard, seen and respected for what we have to offer. May we trust and respect our own becoming with grace, curiosity and surrender.…and a strong dose of humor!
The time is now to free yourself into the wildness of elderhood. To ground who you are and what you have to bring into the very center of your being in spite of the challenges, or better yet because of the challenges!
You have stories to tell, wisdom to share and artistry to impart.
Don’t die now….before you die!
“Finally I have the excuse to be poorly mannered and poorly memoried.”
Jenny Jackson
“I recently read…
“Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman
We all age – it is the normal process of living. But rather than being apprehensive about our aging bodies, let’s celebrate our growing perspective. Rather than worrying about our changing relationships, let’s embrace the opportunity to make new friends with people who share our interests. We must never lose the desire to do the things we truly love, because it is the saying no to life that ages us.
It’s not about aging. It’s about living.”
Filmed in Hermanus, South Africa. by Green Renaissance
Featuring Jenny Jackson.
This video was the first I encountered filmed by Green Renaissance and I placed it at the end of the very first blog post for the Wildly Free Elder website on June 4, 2020. It still makes me smile and is a reminder to live life wildly free!
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Gaye Abbott, Natural Passages Consulting, 2/23/22. Please feel free to share this post and link to WildlyFreeElder